Sunday, February 9, 2020

Today my son turned 33, Happy Birthday Jim!


Last night I went to bed at 10:15pm, woke up briefly, but didn’t get up, a couple times during the night, finally waking/getting up at 6:30.


Jim and I left the apt at 9am and took a taxi to Mall Laureles.  We walked across the street trying to find the Dia de Sol store but no luck.  We walked about 15 minutes south to Sweet Georgia Café where we found Glenn, James, Reg and his wife Erica waiting for us.  Initially they sat at a table for 4 and we sat at table nearby.  
Later some of us moved around a little more.  We were there until almost noon.  Jim and I still couldn’t get our Didi apps to work but we’re getting cloder.  Jim walked back to Mall Laureles to kill some time then he was going back to Comfama Centro for a 2pm salsa band.  Glenn, James, and I took a private car and I got out as usual at McDonalds.


I finally finished setting up the new notebook, now I just have to use it exclusively for awhile to make sure everything is in order.


In the evening Teresa, Jim and I took a private car to Ragazzi pizza in Sabaneta.  After, we went to Antonio’s Gelato in La Buena Mesa for Italian ice cream.  This evening Jim and I both finally got our Didi ride sharing apps working.  He used his going to Sabaneta and I used mine to return.  Uber is no more but now we have Didi and other apps.


We returned to the apt just before 9pm so Teresa could see her Septimo Dia program.


6,578 steps today.


Joke of the day

A guy is having marital problems.

He and the wife are not communicating at all and he's lonesome so he goes to a pet store thinking a pet might help.

The store he happened into specialized in parrots.

As he wanders down the rows of parrots he notices one with no feet.

Surprised he mutters, "I wonder how he hangs onto the perch?"

The parrot says, "With my prick, you dummy."

The guy is startled and says, "You certainly talk well for a parrot."

The parrot says, "Of course, I'm a very well educated parrot. I can discuss politics, sports, religion, almost any subject you wish."

The guy says, "Gee, you sound like just what I was looking for."

The parrot says, "There's not much of a market for maimed parrots. If you offer the proprietor $20 for me I'll bet he'll sell me."

The guy buys the parrot and for three months things go great.

When he comes home from work the parrot tells him what Obama said, whether the A's won, or the Giant's lost, what the pope did and so on.

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot waves a wing at him and says, "Come in and shut the door."

The guy says, "What's up?"

The parrot says, "I don't know how to tell you this but the mail man came today. Your wife answered the door in her negligee and he kissed her right on the lips."

The guy says, "Oh, a momentary flight of passion."

The parrot says, "Then he fondled her breasts."

The guy says, "He did?"

The parrot says, "Then he pulled her negligee down and started sucking on her breasts."

The guy says, "My God, what happened next?"

The parrot says, "I don't know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch."

Saturday, February 8, 2020

Last night I went to bed at 10:15pm, got up once during the night, again at 4:30, got up at 5:30 to take a sleeping pill and didn’t wake/get up until 8:30.

About 9:30 Jim and I walked to the mall where I recycled a couple plastic bottles, paid the Une utility bill, and paid Teresa’s cellphone bill at Claro.  (For some reason mine wasn’t ready.)  We stopped at Herman’s stand for a cup of orange juice then took the metro to Exposiciones station.  We couldn’t find a bus to Rionegro so we took a bus to San Diego mall where we had a short wait for a La Ceja bus.  We got off at the La Fe traffic circle where we had a short wait for another bus to take us to Rionegro.  It’s at 6,900 feet and significantly cooler than Medellin.  My cellphone said it was 71 degrees but Accuweather said it felt like 81.  Now if I could just find a nice town at about 6,000 feet so the temperature would top out at about 80.

We had lunch on the 2^nd floor of Rancho Paisa overlooking the park.  After, we took a bus to Rionegro airport, an airport bus to San Diego mall and a bus from there to Otra Parte and we were back at the apt by 5:30.

Among new US movie releases there isn’t anything I want to see.  Locally, Little Women (8.1) is playing here in the afternoons.

9,755 steps today.

Joke of the day

A contractor dies in a car accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself at the Pearly Gates.

A brass band is playing, the angels are singing a beautiful hymn, there is a huge crowd cheering and shouting his name, and absolutely everyone wants to shake his hand.

Just when he thinks things can't possibly get any better, Saint Peter himself runs over, apologizes for not greeting him personally at the Pearly Gates, shakes his hand, and says, "Congratulations son, we've been waiting a long time for you."

Totally confused and a little embarrassed, the contractor sheepishly looks at Saint Peter and says "Saint Peter, I tried to lead a God-fearing life, I loved my family, I tried to obey the 10 Commandments, but congratulations for what? I honestly don't remember doing anything really special when I was alive."

"Congratulations for what?" says Saint Peter, totally amazed at the man's modesty.

"We're celebrating the fact that you lived to be 160 years old! God himself wants to see you!"

The contractor is awestruck and can only look at Saint Peter with his mouth wide open.

When he regains his power of speech, he looks up at Saint Peter and says "Saint Peter, I lived my life in the eternal hope that when I died I would be judged by God and be found to be worthy, but I only lived to be forty."

"That's simply impossible son," says Saint Peter. "We added up your time sheets."

Friday, February 7, 2020

Last night I went to bed at 10pm, got up twice during the night, finally awakened by my alarm clock at 5:30am.

We left the apt just after 6:30 and arrived at Terminal del Sur just after 7am.  We got on the bus and they left right at 7:30.  I slept for the first 45 minutes.  We stopped at the little town of Bolonbolo so everyone could use the restrooms.  I had taken a pill to calm my stomach from all the rocking but a woman sitting in front of us threw up at least twice that I could see.  We also passed through another town called Andes – Andes of the Andes. 

We arrived at Jardin de Antioquia about 10:50.  Right away we bought return tickets for a van at 4pm. 

Walking the last few blocks from the bus station to downtown we passed an English speaking Tourist Information center but we didn’t go in.  A block from the park we had a nice lunch at Hotel Restaurante Los Colores.  The temperature was just about the same as Medellin.  We checked out their beautiful ornate church.  I wonder how many years it took to complete that.  Their park, Parque Libertador, is quite large but is in need of more shade.  For 3mil we took a moto taxi to a makeshift cable car station called Estacion Garrucha.  A car barely fit 6 people and it was a 8mil ride across the valley.  We rested on the other side for awhile before returning.

We checked out a couple hotels and they were all about 100mil ($30) a night per couple.

We went to a nice 2^nd floor café overlooking the park where we had drinks until it was time to return to the bus station.

On the ride back the driver nicely dropped us off at the Envigado station probably saving us at least 30 minutes.  It was obvious that they had gotten a little rain while we were gone.

5,630 steps today.  (I learned today that the step counter doesn’t work well with the shorts I was wearing.)

Joke of the day

A man walks into a bar and sees his friend slumped over the rail.  He walks up and asks what’s wrong.

“Well,” the guy says, “you know that beautiful girl at work that I wanted to ask out, but I got an erection every time I ask her?”

“Of course,’ his friend replies with a laugh.

“Well,” says the guy straightening up, “I finally got the courage to ask her out, and she agreed.”

“That’s great!” says the friend.  “When are you going out?”

“I went to meet her this evening,” the guy continues, “but I was worried I’d get an erection again.  So I got some duct tape and taped my penis to my leg, so if I did, it wouldn’t show.”

“Makes sense,” says the friend.

“So I get to her door, and I ring her doorbell.  She answered it in the sheerest, tiniest dress you every saw.”

“And what happened then?”

The guy slumps back over the bar again.  “I kicked her in the face.”

Thursday, February 6, 2020

Last night I went to bed at 10:15pm, got up once during the night, finally waking/getting up at 6:30am.

We left the apt at 9:45 and walked to Parva for coffee.  After awhile we went to downtown Envigado for an orange juice.  A couple blocks away we caught a Sabaneta bus to the San Diego mall.  We walked to the other side of the mall to the bus stop and soon were on a La Ceja bus.  Traffic was heavy and 30 minutes later we got off at the Indiana mall.  We had a delicious, but expensive, lunch at a restaurant named El Correo.  I had a lemonada de coco (the best I’ve ever had) and steak pimienta that were delicious.  I couldn’t finish my steak so I got half of it to go but I did save room for a slice of carrot cake and a café con leche.  My total bill came to 78,230 (about $24).

Outside the mall we caught a return bus after only a 5 minute wait.  We got off at the Exposiciones station and we took the metro to the Poblado station.  We walked about 4 blocks to Terminal del Sur.  At the window for the Rapido Ochoa bus we were told they only had seats for 4:30 am and 11:30am.  We went to another bus line but we couldn’t purchase tickets because we didn’t have Teresa’s cedula with us.  They did gave us a reservation but we have to return tomorrow at 7am for the 7:30 bus.  We went upstairs to a bar that Jim said had a view of the runway.  The view was quite a distance away and the view was interrupted by building and trees and was in the sun so I sat in the shade.

When we left we tried for about 15 minutes to get the Didi ride sharing app to work without success.  We got in a long line for a taxi but the wait was only about 10 minutes.  Our driver informed us there was another student demonstration going on so he drove us past Aguacatala station and from there to Avenida Las Vegas and to the apt.

11,791 steps today.

Joke of the day

A man goes to the doctor one day and says, “Doc, I have a problem.  My penis is red.”

The doctor says, “Drop your pants and let me take a look.”

So the man does.

“No problem,” says the doctor.  “We can have you fixed up in no time.  That’ll be $40.”

The man is so impressed that he tells a friend about the experience and that he hadn’t been to a doctor who charged only $40 in ages.

“What doctor did you go to?” his friend asks.  “I have a similar problem.”

So a few days later, his friend goes to the same doctor and tells him, “Doc, you’ve got to help me.  My penis is blue.”

The doctor asks to take a look.

“Ay yes…Ummm.  Yep, we can take care of it, no problem.  $400.”

“Four hundred dollars?  Wait a minute!  You took care of my friend for only $40.”

“Yes, I did,” says the doctor.  “But his penis had lipstick on it.  Yours has gangrene!”

Wednesday, February 5, 2020

Last night I went to bed at 10:30pm, woke up once and woke/got up at 6:30am.

Jim and I left the apt at 9am and walked to downtown Envigado.  He had a cup of orange juice then we went to Carbon de Leña for breakfast then to the corner bakery for coffee.  We stopped at the copy center where Jim had a color copy made of his passport since his black & white copy was getting a little worn.  We returned to the apt where I changed into shorts. 

Just after noon we walked down to La Bahia where we had their menu of the day for 12,500 pesos.  We went across the street to Exito and Jim bought a couple packages of cheese for tomorrow’s omelettes.  We returned to the apt then walked to Parva at 2pm and Juan joined us at 2:30.  He used one of his licenses to give me Microsoft Excel and Word probably saving me around $100-$200.  I loaned him my external hard drive filled with lots of movies and TV series including all the episodes of Seinfeld.  After Juan left we hung around a little longer, I bought a loaf of Sano bread then we returned to the apt.

We made plans for the next two days.  We’re finally going to do something different and, hopefully, more interesting.

For supper, Teresa made spaghetti and I made garlic bread using the garlic spread on the Sano bread.

12,565 steps today.

Joke of the day

A guy runs into his ex-girlfriend at a bar.

“I had sex with another woman last night,” he tells her.  “But I was thinking of you the whole time.”

“You miss me that much?” she asks.

“No,” he says.  “But it kept me from coming too fast.”

Tuesday, February 4, 2020

Last night I went to bed at 10:30pm, woke up at 5:30 and got up at 6am.

Jim and I walked to downtown Envigado where we each bought a small orange juice for 2mil.  Next door we bought special arepas from Las Chachas for another 2 mil.  We sat down in the shade of the Exito store to eat them.  As we were finishing Charles Turner showed up and we chatted a bit.  We went to Bartolos where Jim had coffee and I had a bottle of water.

Nigel came by with his friend Johann and said hello.

After discussing our options for the day we finally decided to go to a small pueblo named Barbosa.  On the way to the bus stop we ran into John sitting outside the corner bakery and we chatted a bit.  We took a bus to the metro and on the ride we saw a man with a tiny kitten in his lap.  We got off at the end of the line at Niquia (sp?). 

Outside we quickly caught a bus to Barbosa for only 4mil.  On the way the bus was in the Quick Pass lane at the toll booth but the car in front of us obviously didn’t have his pass and the bus had to back up so he could move to the next lane.

From the metro station it was a 40 minute ride and I napped for about 20 minutes of that.  Barbosa is just a small town with nothing special that we could see.  (Supposedly there is a waterfall nearby but we didn’t stay long enough to search for it.)  We asked for a recommendation for lunch and were sent to Central Park Restaurant where Jim had fish and I ordered meat lasagna.  I thought it would be the usual ground beef but it was shredded beef between two slices of pasta and as usual was too tough to chew.  

After lunch we took a bus back to the metro and got off at the Poblado station.  We took a taxi to Envios Market where I picked up my February Reader’s Digest, a 1099R, and another Capital One credit card offer which I threw away.

We walked to my favorite ATM where I withdrew some 20s and we walked across the street to Clinica de Medellin where I picked up my blood test results.  We walked up Calle 7 to Bogota Beer Company where Jim had a couple beers and I a lemonade.  (I reviewd my test results and everything appears to be good.)  We took a taxi back to the apt arriving at 7pm.

12,079 steps today.

Joke of the day

A guy nervously approaches the counter at the local drugstore.

“Excuse me, ma’am,” he stammers.  “May I speak to the pharmacist?”

“I’m the pharmacist,” the woman says.  “It’s just my sister and me here.  What can I do for you?”

“Ah, well, it’s rather embarrassing.”

“Young man, we’ve heard everything,” she assures him.  “Don’t be nervous.”

“Well, I’ve had this erection for days, and I can’t get rid of it.  What can you give me for it?”

“Wait here.  I’ll be right back,” she says, walking into the office.

A few minutes later, she stepped back to the counter.

“My sister and I can give you $20,000 cash and 10 percent of the business.”

Monday, February 3, 2020

Last night I went to bed at 11pm and woke up at 7:30.

Teresa made us blueberry pancakes with coffee for breakfast that were very filling.

We left the apt about 10am and walked to downtown Envigado.  First we had a glass of orange juice at our usual corner stand for 2mil then we walked to the used bookstore where I exchanged paperbacks for another 2 mil.

We took a Metro bus down to the metro and took it to Sabaneta.  We took a metro up to their Exito and walked the last few blocks to the park.  I had called Erwin to join us but he has been sick for the past couple days.  I texted Glenn and he said he would show up later.  I showed Jim Mercado de Sabaneta then we returned to the park where we hung out for awhile having drinks.  We walked 4-5 blocks north of the park to Porci Carnes where I had a delicious plate of ribs that tasted just like they were hickory smoked.

We took a Sabaneta bus back to the apt but soon discovered it was going down Avenida Las Vegas instead of Avenida Poblado so we got off at the mall.  I bought a large package of eggs that Teresa asked me to buy then we went up to the 3^rd floor where we had drinks while enjoying the view of the valley.

About 5pm we returned to the apt.

Soon Esmeralda showed up and the ladies started creating a contract for the finca.

Jim and I left about 7pm and walked to Otra Parte where we enjoyed a nice dinner in the cool of the evening.  For dessert we walked to Antonio’s Gelato where we had Italian ice cream.

We returned to the apt about 9:15.

13,509 steps today.

Joke of the day

A tough looking group of hairy bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop.

The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to commit suicide," she says.

While he doesn’t want to appear insensitive, he also doesn’t want to miss an opportunity, so he asks, "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"

She does, and it is a long, deep, lingering kiss.

After she's finished, the tough, hairy biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I’ve ever had! That's a real talent you’re wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?"

She replied, "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl…"