Sunday, February 2, 2020

Happy Groundhog Day!  It’s Superbowl Sunday!

Last night I took a Zopiclona, went to bed at 10:30pm and got up at 6:45.  (My brother believes my readers aren’t interested in hearing about my sleep struggles, so no more.)

We left the apt at 8:30 and took a taxi to Sweet Georgia Café (Carrera 78 #32EE-25), arriving just before their 9am open.  We had coffee while Jim and Glenn got to know each other.  For breakfast I ordered the scrambled eggs, sausage, and waffle combo with coffee for 26,500 ($8).  The eggs were good, the waffles spectacular (I wonder what spice they add to the mix) but the sausages were not the links portrayed in the photo; next time I’ll get bacon.

We had more coffee then walked to Parque Laureles #2 and across Nutibara to the café (Circular 74A & Calle 39B) where I originally met Glenn.  We had coffee there then took a taxi to Pueblito Paisa on Cerro Nutibara.  The usual road leading up the hill was closed for construction so the driver had to take a detour.  On their rooftop we checked out the views then I moved to the shade and bought a bottle of cold water.  I was still in my jeans as I had planned on returning to the apt to change into shorts.  They stayed about 10 more minutes in the hot sun before joining me.

Jim wanted to see some live music at Comfama Centro (Calle 49A #46-14, where I briefly played chess last month) so we took a taxi there.  The music was too loud for Glenn and me but Jim didn’t want to miss the opportunity so he stayed.  Glenn and I walked to Parque Berrio where we caught the metro.  I got off at Ayura station and Glenn continued on to Sabaneta.

My usual Pedazco metro bus wasn’t there so I had to walk the 15 minutes back to the apt (first time).  By the time I returned I was dripping wet and the wifi is out.  Sad!

I waited 30 minutes to cool down then took a shower.

Wifi was back.

Jim returned about 4:30.

We left the apt at 6pm and walked to the mall.  We got what appeared to be the last table right before the kick off.  We started off with a plate of Tex-Mex Nachos which were quite good.  I had an iced tea that was pretty decent also.

For the entré I had a burger with rustic fries.  The Kansas City Chiefs edged the San Francisco 49ers 31-20 at the end.

As we exited the building they had the usual way blocked with construction tape and we had to exit to the taxi stand in the parking garage.  We were soon back at the apt.

10,875 steps today.

Joke of the day

A guy goes to the doctor and says, “Doc, you’ve got to help me.  My penis is orange.”

The doctor asks the man to drop his pants so he can check.  Sure enough, the man’s penis is orange. 

The doctor says to the guy, “This is very strange.  Sometimes things like this are cause by a lot of stress in a person’s life.”

Probing as to the causes of possible stress, the doctor asks the man, “How are things going at work?”

The man explains that he was fired about six weeks ago.  The doctor tells him that his must be the cause of the stress.

The man says, “No.  My boss was a real jerk, I had to work 20-30 hours of overtime every week, and I had not say in anything that was happening.  I found a new job a couple weeks ago where I can set my own hours.  I’m getting paid double what I got on the old job, and my new boss is a really great guy.”

So, the doctor decides this probably wasn’t the reason.  He asks the guy, “How’s your home life?”

The guy says, “Well, I got divorced about eight months ago.”

The doctor figures that this has got to be the reason for all of the man’s stress.

But the man says, “No.  For years, all I listened to was nag, nag, nag.  Jeez, am I glad to be rid of her!”

Baffled, the doctor asks, “Do you have any hobbies or a social life?”

The man says, “No, not really.  Most nights I just sit at home, watch some porno flicks, and munch on Cheetos.”

Saturday, February 1, 2020

Last night I took a Zopiclona, went to bed at 10:30pm, fell asleep quickly, woke up once at 4:30, finally getting up at 5am.

Jim and I left the apt at 8:15 and walked to Carbon de Lena where we had calentao with scrambled eggs for 9,200 pesos each.

We walked to Todo Drogas where I picked up my medications for the month.

At Bancolombia we only had a 2-minute wait for a cashier and we easily withdrew my cash using World Remit and I paid my first of the month bills.

We took a bus back to the apt where we changed clothes and took a bus to Mayorca mall.

We met Teresa at Puro Cuero and after some discussion they promised to build another table without the horizontal bars and with the extra trim by the legs.  Since they were redoing it we ordered it in a little darker wood.

I walked Jim to the metro then Teresa I had lunch at J&C Delicias.  A problem arose when it came time to pay the bill.  As usual I used my debit card and told them I wanted to be charged in pesos but the receipt was in dollars.  They showed me where it says pesos on the receipt and I showed them where it says dollars and the extra 3.5% charge for the conversion.  It took some time but they finally cancelled the dollars and rebilled it in pesos.

We took a taxi back to the apt.

I left the apt at 2:30 and met Juan Carlos at the Otra Parte library.  It was very hot inside as there was no A/C.  I was in shorts and sleeveless t-shirt but next time I’ll wear sandals instead of socks with gym shoes.

After the lesson I walked to Parva where I sat under one of their ceiling fans while I drank a cold mango juice.

Jim joined me about 30 minutes later.  He had some of his own challenges.  Months ago I bought him a ticket to a beer festival at Jardin de Botanico but when he arrived there was nothing going on.  After some searching he finally found it had been moved to Ciudad del Rio.  We moved next door to Na Pizza where he had a mojito.

We were both very hot and tired and I returned to the apt while he stopped at a new restaurant for a beer.

Among new US movie releases there isn’t anything I want to see.  Locally, there isn’t anything I want to see.

12,421 steps today.

Joke of the day

A wife arriving home from a shopping trip was horrified to find her husband in bed with a lovely young woman. She screamed at him: "You're a pig! A pig with no honor! How dare you do this to me! I'm your faithful wife!" She was about to storm off, when her husband stopped her with these words: "Wait a minute, let me at least explain what happened!"

"Fine!" sobbed the angry wife, "but they will be your LAST words to me!"

"Well, while I was driving along the highway, I saw this young girl here, looking tired and haggard. I felt sorry for her, so I brought her home. She was hungry, so I made her a meal from the roast beef you thought was too fattening.

Her sandals were torn so I gave her a pair of good shoes you had discarded because they had gone out of style.

She was cold, so I gave her the sweater I got you for your birthday that you don't wear because the colors don't suit you.

Her slacks were worn out, so I gave her a pair of yours that you liked before your sister bought the same pair.

Then, as she was about to leave the house, she turned to me and said pleadingly, "Please, is there anything ELSE your wife doesn't use anymore?"

Friday, January 31, 2020

Last night I took a Zopiclona with 2 Trazadona, went to bed at 10:45pm, fell asleep quickly, got up 4 times during the night, finally waking at 6:30 and getting up at 7am.

I understand the priority now is for Teresa to get the finca contract together and have it signed by the new tenants.  Now she is waiting on Esmeralda for advice on the contract.

I got my new laptop setup with Windows 10 and I’m now learning more about the hardware and software.

After breakfast Jim and I walked back to Alpha where I bought my 4 bottles of nutritional supplements, 3 for me and 1 for Teresa.  While there, Jim asked the saleslady what they recommend for sleep problems and she said, “stop drinking coffee”.  Yikes! In the land of coffee I’m supposed to give it up?  Well, I’ll try it for a month to see what happens but I think my enlarged prostate might be a bigger contributor to my sleep problems.

We stopped at Parva on the way back and I had a mango juice.  Sad!

After lunch we took a taxi to the south bus terminal where we quickly were on a bus to El Retiro, a small town about an hour and 15 minutes (without using the tunnel) from Medellin.  It’s a cool little town, literally, as the temperature was in the 70s rather than the 80s.  There is a little town square where you can buy such things as hot, homemade potato chips.  We had a late lunch in one of their restaurants then enjoyed the cool breeze in the town square.  Later we went to a small café where I had my only café con leche of the day.

We returned by the same bus to Medellin, got off at San Diego mall, and returned by taxi to the apt.

8,078 steps today.

Joke of the day

One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My head really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor." His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply tell it the problem, put in a sample of your urine, and the computer will diagnose it and tell you what you can do about the issue you're having. It only costs $20."

Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $20.

The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:

You have migraines. You need to take better care of yourself. Get daily rest, drink a lot and avoid bright lights, stress, and strain. See me again in 2 weeks.

During the next 2 weeks, while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he even added some oil from his car. 

He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $20, again stating he had a bad headache. He waited curiously to see what the computer will say about the odd mix.  The machine again made the usual noises, flashed lights, and printed out the following analysis:

Your tap water has too much waste in it.

Your dog has ringworms. 

Your teenage daughter is pregnant.

Your wife has had 5 different lovers in the past six months.

Also, your car needs a new radiator.

And you wonder why you have a headache? 

Thursday, January 30, 2020

Last night I took a Zopiclona with 2 Trazadona, went to bed at 10:45pm, fell asleep quickly, got up twice during the night, finally waking/getting up at 6am.

We left the apt at 8am and walked to downtown Envigado.  We first had an orange juice at the corner shop near Exito.  I’m sure Jim drooled over the arepas at Las Chachas as we walked to the little restaurant called Donelia in Chuck’s Mart.  We each had calentado with coffee that was served in a little bowl (taza) and, unfortunately, wasn’t very hot.  You couldn’t beat the price, though, at 13mil each.

We walked to the previous location of Mercado de Tranvia de Envigado and the whole structure is torn down.  We walked to the bank where we made a withdrawal for some pocket money.  

We stopped in Claro where Jim helped me increase Teresa’s data plan to 12GB and we inquired about Claro Video.  I understand that there is no monthly fee if I use it with wifi and some movies are free but others have a rental fee.

We went to the mall where Jim looked, unsuccessfully, for a place where he could get a manicure/pedicure.  We had coffee at Todo Fresa and returned to the apt about 1pm.

Jim took a nap and I got caught up on my blog and emails.

We left again at 2:30 and had the menu of the day at Asados Rogelio for 17mil each.

At Parva we had coffee while sitting outside enjoying the fresh air.

We walked down some side streets west of Avenida Poblado where I found a tienda naturista named Alpha at Transversal 31 Sur #32 B-62.  They had all the vitamins and supplements I was looking for, they take credit cards, and they deliver (domicilios) at 448 7372.

We walked to Fecundity Park by Aymara and he went scouting for a pedicure.  He found one across the street and down a block.  It took a little over 30 minutes but only cost him 13,000.

We walked to the Spanish tapas restaurant where Jim stayed for a cup of wine but I returned to the apt.

About the dining room table, Teresa told me the saleslady said it will only support the heavy glass with the cross supports.  I told her then let’s exchange this table for the one in their showroom.  I know it’s a little longer so I asked Teresa to call them and find out what its length is.  She called and then told me to wait a while.

When Jim returned I learned some additional details: we have an “improved” model; the showroom model doesn’t disassemble; the factory is in El Retiro which is where we were planning on going tomorrow.

We left the apt at 8pm and took a taxi to Antica Pizza.  There was no line and we only had to wait 5-10 minutes for seats.

14,760 steps today.

Joke of the day

An exercise for people who are out of shape: Begin with a five-pound potato bag in each hand.  Extend your arms straight out from your sides, hold them there for a full minute, and then relax. 

After a few weeks, move up to ten-pound potato bags.  Then try the 50-pound potato bags, and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-pound potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.

Once you feel comfortable at that level, put a potato in each bag.

Wednesday, January 29, 2020

Last night I took a Zopiclona with 2 Trazadona, went to bed at 10:45pm, fell asleep quickly, got up twice during the night, got up a 3^rd time at  5am and finally gave up falling back asleep and I got up at 5:45am.

Well, my brother arrives at the Rionegro airport via COPA at 5:28pm.  I’ve arranged for our usual private driver for pickup.

I left the apt at 9:30 and walked to the gym.  At one point I saw a young man come in with an electric scooter.  He folded it in half and then carried it further into the gym.  I completed all my exercises in and hour and 20 minutes.

I walked to Parva where I bought a loaf of Sano bread for 10mil from the young lady who speaks good English.  I think from now on I’ll call her blue eyes.

I was back at the apt by 11:15.

I recharged my cellphone for the expected ride to, and wait at, the airport later today.

After lunch I download a game app called Fishdom.  I soon learned it wasn’t going to be much fun but then I couldn’t figure out how to exit the program.  Then I had the added pressure of Teresa asking me about sending or receiving some email from the furniture store Puro Cuero.  I had already logged out of my laptop and now my cell phone was unavailable.

I left the apt at 2pm and on my way to the copy center I found Chuck sitting outside Aymara having coffee.  We chatted a bit, I got a couple pages printed at the copy center, and I soon was on a Sabaneta bus.  I figured out that if I turned off my cell phone completely and restarted it I could get back to the main screen and from there go to Settings where I uninstalled the Fishdom game.

I got off at the San Diego mall and walked through to the other side to Avenida Las Palmas to the bus stop.  It was now just after 3pm and 5 minutes later the airport bus arrived.

The bus went through the new tunnel, first a small section then a much longer one that took 10 minutes to get through.  We arrived at the airport and it seemed the tunnel cut 20 minutes off the trip from San Diego mall, so 25 minutes instead of the previous 45.  The fare went up from 10mil to 10,500.

Inside the airport I checked to see that Jim’s flight was still on time.  I went up to J&C Delicias where I bought a mango juice.  I sat outside the restaurant and solved a set of chess puzzles.

I saw his plane land right on time at 5:28.  I went downstairs to the Arrivals area and texted Bryan, our driver.  He said he was in the parking lot and would soon be inside.  My brother walked out 20 minutes after landing.  He reported he upgraded his seat to Business Class from Chicago to Panama City for $200.

Bryan took Jim’s bag and we headed out to the airport parking.  The car still looks like new and we returned to Medellin via the tunnel then cut off a new sideroad that kept us away from the usual Medellin traffic.

He dropped us off at our elevator and I paid him his 90mil plus a 10mil tip.

Inside he gave Teresa the skin cream she asked for and for me 3 bags of salted-in-the-shell peanuts, 3 bottles of Root Beer, canker sore medicine, a roll of Scotch packing tape, and most important my new Acer laptop with carrying case.

We left the apt at 7:30 and walked to La Casita Parilla where we had a nice dinner for 3 for 50,500 pesos.  Returning to the apt we stopped in Barrio Sur café/bar to check it out for the Superbowl.  They have a few interesting items on their food menu but they only have 2 TV screens.  (Btw, they usually open for the night at 4/4:30pm.)

12,609 steps today.

Joke of the day

A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds. 

The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, and then shuddered violently once more. 

Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. 

As before she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before. 

Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, 'I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. Are you OK?' 

'I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm. ' 

The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. 'I have never heard of that condition before' he said. 'Are you taking anything for it?' 

The woman nodded. 'Yes, pepper.'

Tuesday, January 28, 2020

Last night I took a Zopiclona with 3 Trazadona, went to bed at 10:45pm, fell asleep quickly, got up 4-5 times during the night (feeling a little dizzy each time), finally waking/getting up at 6:30am.  (I had soup for dinner last night and I’m sure all that liquid caused me to get up so many times during the night.)

I left the apt just before 8am and the doorman went to my mailbox and handed me a list of this year’s chess tournaments from Juan Castro.  At the mall I printed an email at Auros then went on to Habia Una Vez.  I was working on my 10mil breakfast when Jose arrived about 8:30.  He had breakfast while I was enjoying on my 2^nd café con leche.  We discussed the upcoming chess tournaments and my recent chess lessons.

Just after 9am we went upstairs where we setup at our usual table.  I had White in the first game and I played my usual London System.  I locked up his pieces pretty well on the queen side and had a strong attack going on the kingside but I couldn’t finish him off and we ended up in a draw on the 47^th move.  Btw, I had 7 seconds left on my clock.

He had his usual sandwich from Q’Hubo and I had my usual BBQ nuggets from Frisby.  The food court was noticeably less busy than usual which I believe was due to the fact that children are back in school.

I had Black in the 2^nd game and played the Dutch Defense but he got a strong attack going on the queenside and I resigned on the 35^th move.

By the time we finished it was almost 4pm, he left and I went upstairs to Mr. Kutz where I got my usual haircut for 30mil.  It was misting as I entered the shop but it was raining harder as I left.

I went down to Home Center where I bought a pack of 10 hangers for the guest bedroom.

At Todo Fresa I had a café con leche while catching up on the day’s news.  I received an email from Envios Market that I have documents waiting for pickup.  After an hour I called Teresa and she told me it wasn’t raining so I packed up and left.

I stopped at the nextdoor Exito where I bought a bag of milk and the 5 carrots that Teresa requested.

When I returned to the apt Teresa had a nice tablecloth covering our new table.  Of course Teresa didn’t care for my haircut.  She keeps threatening to go with me next time I get a haircut so she can give the barber specific instructions.  If she had her way I would have something resembling a crewcut with no beard.  Sigh!

For dinner I had hot vegetables that Teresa made for me and even though the plate was on a placemat, one vegetable somehow flipped off my fork and landed on the tablecloth, dirtying it. Yikes!

I moved a few things down to our garage storage room.

6,796 steps today.

Joke of the day

A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him: "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

"They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?'"

"That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, "I can see why you are embarrassed." He thought for a minute and then said: "You know, I may have a solution to this problem. I have two male parrots whom I have taught to pray and read the Bible. 

Bring your two parrots over to my house and we will put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship. I'm sure your parrots will stop saying that...that phrase in no time."

"Thank you. This may very well be the solution," the woman responded.

The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house. As he ushered her in, she saw the two male parrots were inside their cage, holding their rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. After just a couple of seconds, the female parrots exclaimed in unison: "Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?" 

There was a stunned silence. Finally, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and said: "Put the beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!"

Monday, January 27, 2020

Last night I took a Zopiclona with 3 Trazadona, went to bed at 11pm, fell asleep quickly, got up once during the night, finally waking/getting up at 7am.

At 7:45 the local news reported the helicopter crash and the death of Kobe Bryant.

Also, according to the TV news, it appears today is the day that children return to school.  Also, from the Gente newspaper I picked up Saturday, the mayor of Envigado is trying a new antidrug pilot program where the schools will have drug sniffing drugs at the cost of 306 million pesos annually.

At 9:30 I left for the gym.  I noticed the notebook I left in my mailbox for Juan Castro was still there.  On the way I realized I was wearing the wrong gym shoes.  I was surprised to run into Charles Turner working out at our gym.  He said he has a Black membership and works out in different locations with friends.  We agreed to keep each other up to date on where we will watch the Superbowl next Sunday.  Marcos was also there and we chatted a bit.  I completed all my exercises in an hour and 15 minutes.  Today I did increase my treadmill speed from 6.4 to 6.5.

Back at the apt Teresa was still there and explained she will go to the gym tonight for a class with her girlfriends.  I picked up my memory drive and some scotch tape and returned to the guardhouse.  I taped the memory drive to the cover of the notebook and returned it to my mailbox slot.  When I returned to the apt Teresa asked me to get her a bag of Fab from Exito so I made a quick trip there.  When I returned she told me she wanted an avocado from the guy selling them in the street.  I bought a green one for 5mil.  When I returned to the apt Teresa told me she wanted a black one so I had to go back and exchange it.

After lunch I had planned to go to the nutritional store in downtown Envigado but Teresa asked me to stick around to help with something in the guest bedroom.

Later she took a nap.

I finished the 2^nd season of Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan on Amazon Prime but all the other series I thought might be interested were either “not available in your region” or you had to pay extra for.  I watched an episode of You and Jane the Virgin on Netflix.

At 7pm, Teresa left to go to the gym for a class, she never got around to me helping with whatever she wanted in the bedroom.

Teresa returned just after 8pm.

4,701 steps today.

Joke of the day

After his exam, the doctor said to the elderly man, “You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?”

“In fact, I do,” said the old man. “After I make love to my wife the first time I am usually hot and sweaty, and then after we make love the second time, I am usually cold and chilly.”

After examining his elderly wife, the doctor said, “Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?” The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns.

The doctor then said to her, “Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after making love with you the first time, and then cold and chilly after the second time. Do you know why?”

“Oh that crazy old fart…” she replied.

“That’s because the first time is usually in August, and the second time is in January!”