Monday, July 22nd, 2013

I went to bed at 9pm; got up once during the night; woke up at 5am; went back to sleep and got up at 7:40.  I feel great again!  My eyes don’t feel tired at all.

The bonging continues – every 5 seconds.

I sent the following email to the owner of my apartment this morning:

“I made a little miscalculation.  My brother put the $2000 into my Citibank account.  The rest of my money is in my USAA account.  My USAA account is the one that is also set up for paying bills.  But we still have time left until the end of the month.

I have requested the $2000 to be transferred from my Citibank account into my USAA account.  It should all be available by the end of the week and I will request a check to be sent to you ASAP.”

After breakfast of cereal and a leftover banana from Saturday’s fruit salad I stopped at Jhon’s office and told a joke to him and his student:

One day a kid went to school and the teacher said, “For homework, I want you to find out the difference between ‘hypothetically’ and ‘realistically’.” So the kid went home and asked his father, “Dad, what’s the difference between ‘hypothetically’ and ‘realistically’?”

His father replied, “Ask you mother if she’d sleep with somebody for a million dollars.” The son sort of looked at his father funny, but proceeded.

“Mom, would you sleep with someone for a million dollars?” The mother replied, “Well son that is quite a large sum of money…but I think I would.”

So the son went back to his father and said, “Dad, Mom said she would do it, but I just don’t understand, what does that have to do with ‘hypothetically’ and ‘realistically’?”

The father replied, “Don’t worry about it, and just ask your sister if she’d do it.” Reluctantly the boy went and asked his sister. She replied, “A million dollars? OF COURSE I WOULD DO IT!!”

So, the boy returned once again to his father saying, “Dad, she said she’d do it too, but I still don’t understand what that has to do with ‘hypothetically’ and ‘realistically’?”

The father replied, “Well son, HYPOTHETICALLY we’re sitting on two million dollars, REALISTICALLY, we’re living with a couple of whores!”

We had to go through several iterations of the joke before the student understood it all.

At Laureles Mall I completed another chapter of my chess book and from 1:30 to 2pm I had Pollo Plancha:  chicken, French fries, salad, an arepa with cheese and coke) for lunch for 10mil from Gordog’s.  Dario joined me just a little after 2pm and we played 2 games.  In the first I gave him a knight on move 15 and still I hung on for quite a while but lost in the end.  In the second game, he gave me a bishop on the 7^th move and he held on for a while until finally losing.

A little while later an older woman stopped by and said something to me in Spanish.  After my usual reply I understood she knows how to play chess.  I invited her to sit down and play a game but she said “another day”.  Maybe because she was with a friend.

I stopped by Jhon’s office on the way back to my apartment but he was busy so I didn’t hang around.

For dinner I made myself a waffle with my leftover milk.

Beatriz showed up just before 7pm.  She cut my leftover mango for me to eat with my breakfast tomorrow.

I shared the following joke with her:

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor there is a sign on the door that reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

When she gets to the second floor she finds a sign that reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and a sign reads: Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are very good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She's so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor number 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store!

Read on...............................................

A new wives store opened across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The third through sixth floors have never been visited.

Beatriz asked me what I did today and I just cut & pasted my blog into the translator.  She enjoyed the joke about hypothetically & realistically.  

I got a call from someone on my cell phone who told me Andrew wants to meet me at the mall tomorrow at 2pm to play chess.

I told Beatriz there are at least 2 movies I would like to see next month.

She left about 9pm because she had some bad stomach pain.  I would say it was gas pains but for a woman it might be some problem with her female organs.  She said if it continues she would have her son take her to Emergency.

I caught the last 45 minutes of “Under the Dome”.