Sunday, January 6, 2019

Last night I went to bed at 11pm and it took me a little while to fall asleep.  I woke up at 5am and my rain app was still playing so I guess I messed up setting the alarm.  I believe it took me about an hour to fall back asleep finally waking/getting up at 9:15.  The late hour kind of surprised me.

The last few days (weeks?) I’ve had a problem in the morning with my back.  It’s weak/sore when I first get up in the morning.  I have to massage it and walk around a bit before it starts feeling normal.  I think it’s because while I usually fall asleep on my side I wake up on my back – probably meaning that I spend the night on my back.  I wonder if my bed is too soft or too hard.

I left the apt at 10:40.  I noticed the elevator was on the 8^th floor and usually I push the button and I have enough time to walk to the other side of the hallway and take a quick peak on the other side of the building.  This time the elevator was already coming down. 
When the door opened a young girl was standing there with a full sized Boxer.  He didn’t appear aggressive but still he was a little scary.  I hesitated getting in and she said “no es bravo” which I guess means he isn’t dangerous.  I got in but let them exit first in the parking garage.

Since we are further north now my goal today was to see how far I could walk in 30 minutes.  I saw a sign outside Otra Parte so I stopped to read it.  I understand it was their holiday hours and that they would be closing each day at 5pm until January 15^th.

I walked past Teresaria High School, Papa John’s Pizza, the exercise class outside Euro, Carulla, new chamber of commerce building, Dian office, Jeno’s Pizza, the Xerox building and at the 30 minute mark I was across the street from the grotto with the religious thingy in the back.

Back at the apt I grabbed one of my oatmeal cookies and took it downstairs to our portero (guard/doorman).  His name is Reynaldo.

Teresa asked me “when does summer begin in the US?”  I told her officially it starts June 21^st.  Her reaction was like OMG.  I told her “but spring starts March 21^st”.  That news didn’t appear to mollify her any.

Teresa informed me that last night Laura was dancing until 4am.  The girls here REALLY like to dance.

In the afternoon I watched the Chargers defeat the Ravens 23-17.

At 4:30 I settled down with a bag of ACTII microwave popcorn and my last root beer to watch the Bears vs Eagles game.

The Slingbox froze on me once and had to be restarted but the Bears were ahead 6-3 at the half.  A storm rolled through right at the beginning of the 3^rd quarter and I switched between the Slingbox and Direct TV.  Finally, I gave up on the Slingbox and just watched in on Direct TV with the Spanish play by play and commentary.  My Bears lost 16-15 in the waning seconds on a missed field goal.  It’s probably too dramatic to say I’m in mourning but I’m definitely in shock that our season is over.

Still in shock.

Still in shock.

Still in shock.

Joke of the day

A man goes to a pet store to buy himself an exotic bird. 

He tells the clerk, “You know I’ve had a number of pet birds in my life and now I’m looking for something really special.  Have anything I might like?”

“Yessir, I do.  I have a South American parrot rumored to have a vocabulary of 400 words.  He can talk about the weather, about sports, and about politics.  But I might add he is very expensive.”

“Well, he sounds just perfect.  Why don’t you bring him out here.”

The clerk goes into the back room and brings out an exquisite green bird with bright feathers and a dark, golden beak.  He sets the bird on a perch and excuses himself to take care of another customer in another part of the shop.

The man looks at the bird and starts talking to it in the usual way, “Pretty bird, pretty bird, Polly want a cracker?”

The bird replies in such beautiful English the man can hardly believe his ears.  They have a conversation about the recent rain, they talk about the latest bills in Congress, and even talk about the latest Super Bowl.  The man is dumbfounded.

“I’ll take him”, the man calls out to the clerk, “I’ll take him home with me today.”

“Very good, sir,” says the clerk.  They conclude the transaction and the man walks out with the parrot on his shoulder.

As soon as they get to the man’s home, the bird goes into a loud tirade of profanity.  One four-letter word after another.  On and on without end.  The man can’t believe it.

“Look, bird, you didn’t do any of this in the shop.  I have guests coming over tonight.  Don’t you embarrass me with this kind of language.”

The bird goes on and on with the profane cursing.

The man gets fed up and throws the parrot into the freezer.  That will quiet him down, thinks the man.

Sure enough, within a minute or two, the bird has gone completely silent.  The man opens the freezer and the bird takes a deep bow.  “Forgive me sir, I will never talk like that again.  I just do not know what got into me.”

The man is satisfied and motions for the bird to perch on his shoulder and the man goes about his business.

A few minutes later the bird leans over and in his ear asks quietly, “Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure, what is it?”

“Uh, what exactly did the chicken do wrong?”

Saturday, January 5, 2019

Last night I was still awake when my rain app stopped at the 25-minute limit I had set.  I fell asleep soon after, got up once during the night and woke up at 6:30.  I took half an Excedrin for eye discomfort and went back to bed.  I got up at 7:15.

After my shower I dressed and went next door to Exito Express where I bought a couple bags of milk.

I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast and left the apt at 9:30.

I took the bus to Envios Market but the person who could print a receipt wasn’t there.  I walked to Cedimed where I withdrew a large amount of small bills to use this month.  I walked up to Oviedo where I checked the buy/sell quotes at the currency exchange.  They were buying dollars for 2,900 pesos and selling dollars for 2,945 pesos.  I was a little surprised that the spread was so small.  That only gives them a profit of 45 pesos per dollar.  So, to buy $200 it will cost me 2,945COP/USD or 589,000 pesos.

Now, instead if I found a private individual that would split the profit (spread) with me it would cost me 2,922 COP/USD or 584,400 for a savings of 4,500 pesos.  Did I do that right?   Less than $2?

I took a Sabaneta bus and got off by Parque Envigado.  I walked to Cotrafa where I paid this month’s Une bill (wifi).

I stopped at the copy center where I printed a copy of Laura’s au pair orientation.

I stopped at the bakery for a café con leche and then walked back to the apt.

I was surprised Laura was still there but she told me she’s not leaving until about 3pm.

Everyone, Teresa, MT, even diabetic Esmeralda, loves my oatmeal cookies.

I watched the Indianapolis Colts defeat the Houston Texans 21-7 in the AFC wildcard game.  Later I watched the Dallas Cowboys edge the Seattle Seahawks 24-22 in the NFC wildcard game.

I turned on the rain app on my cellphone and went to bed.

Joke of the day

A woman was thinking about finding a pet to help keep her company at home.  She decided she would like to find a beautiful parrot; it wouldn’t be as much work as a dog, and it would be fun to hear it speak.  She went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large beautiful parrot.  She went to the owner of the store and asked how much.  The owner said it was just $50.

Delighted that such a rare looking and beautiful bird wasn’t more expensive she agreed to buy it.  The owner looked at her and said, “Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a whorehouse.  Sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff.”

The woman thought about this, but decided she would buy it anyway.  The pet shop owner sold her the bird and she took it home.  She hung the bird’s cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.  The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said “New house, new madam.”

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought “that’s not so bad.”  A couple hours later, the woman’s two teenage daughters returned from school.  When they inspected the bird, it looked at them and said, “New house, new madam, new whores.”

The girls and the woman were a bit offended at first, but then began to laugh about the situation.  A couple hours later, the woman’s husband came home from work.

The bird looked at him and said, “New house, new madam, new whores, same old faces.  Hi George!”

Friday, January 4, 2019

I got up once during the night, finally waking/getting up at 7:45.

I turned on the computer but I couldn’t get the mouse to work even after changing the battery.

I found a text message from Laura suggesting that we take the money for the peso to dollar exchange from the finca rental.  Good idea!

After breakfast Teresa got Laura up and she simply turned my mouse back on.  I thought it was a button when I pressed it but it’s a switch and it slides.  Sigh!

I left the apt at 9:30 and in the gym completed all my exercises in an hour and 45 minutes.  I had absolutely no strange feeling in my hamstrings today.  Great!

Among new US movie releases I would like to see Escape Room (6.2).  Locally, there isn’t anything I want to see.

I took a nap from 3 to 4pm.

I watched some TV and in the evening I watched Band of Brothers: Crossroads and Bastogne.

Teresa went out with Esmeralda for a few hours and when she returned she brought me some chicken from Sabaneta.

I think we had a high of about 90 degrees today.  Sunday is supposed to be a little cooler.

Laura believes the $680 au pair payment needs to be made with a credit card.  I told her that a debit card usually works also.  I understand her backup plan would be to have Esmeralda put it on her credit card and we would give her cash (in pesos).

Laura leaves tomorrow for a trip to visit a friend in Jardin.  She’s going there with them by car and returning by bus on Monday.

Joke of the day

Bill worked in a pickle factory.  He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion.  He had this urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.  His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill indicated that he’d be too embarrassed.  He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

One day, a few weeks later, Bill came home absolutely ashen.  His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.

“What’s wrong, Bill?”, she asked.

“Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?”

“Oh, Bill, you didn’t.”

“Yes, I did.”

“My God, Bill, what happened?”

“I got fired.”

“No, Bill, I mean what happened to the pickle slicer?”

“Oh…she got fired too.”

Thursday, January 3, 2019

Last night I went to bed at 11:15 and it seemed to take a while to fall asleep.  Sometime during the night I was briefly awakened by a car horn.  I woke/got up at 6:15.

I had a bowl of cereal and Teresa and I left the apt at 7:30.

In 20 minutes we were at the nueve eps in Itagui.  I had a cup of coffee in their cafeteria while Teresa waited her turn.  She was back by 8:30.  At 9am we were in Las Americas.  I saw a sign indicating that they need O+ and O- blood donors.  I asked at one of the desks and found, like in the US, blood donations stop at the age of 65.

At the cashier I made the last hospital payment of 541,132 pesos ($173).

We walked to another building in the complex and Teresa talked to a woman in an office.

Back at the main building we went up to the 3^rd floor where we had a light snack of pastels and café con leche.  Up to the 4^th floor to the pathology lab and after a short wait they gave Teresa some medical records.

We quickly caught a taxi back to the apt.

Yikes!  I finally realized that I misnamed the first 2 days of the week in my blog.  All fixed now!

We searched online for more information about her medical reports.

I forgot to mention that we were contacted yesterday by Natalia who informed us that my health insurance will go up by another 10,000 pesos starting in February.  I added a note to my files.

Teresa called someone and then proclaimed that we’re going to Zara because they are having a promotion.  I reminded her that she said everything there was ugly and she replied that they get new things in every day.

Laura went to get MT, and Teresa and I walked up to La Buena Mesa.  Surprisingly, our usual “menu of the day” restaurant was closed so she had lunch at a seafood restaurant while I had a burger across the street at Monsieur Burger.

When I finished eating I found MT sitting at the table with MT.  I understand that Laura went to window shop at Santafe and then she was going to her 3pm au pair meeting.

We all took a taxi to Santafe and the ladies checked out Zara and another store while I read some from my paperback.

Finally, Teresa found a dress she liked for 129,900 pesos ($40).

We went downstairs to Mimos where we got an ice cream cone.

I understood Teresa wanted to wait for Laura to arrive from her meeting but after awhile I got bored and left.  I walked across the street where I found an Envigado bus waiting at the red light.  For 2,200 pesos I took it to Envigado and got off at Doble Pizza.

From there it was only a 3 block walk back to the apt complex.

I finished watching Spotlight on Netflix.

Teresa finally gave up waiting for Laura and she arrived back at the apt at 6:45.  Laura arrived a few minutes later.  They gave her homework and she also needs $150-$200 in cash to take with her to the US.  All of my money in the bank is in dollars but I don’t know how I would get that money here in dollars without paying through the nose at some currency exchange.

When I went to bed at 11pm Laura was working on her homework on my laptop.

For the first time I used an app called myNoise.  I put it on the endtable next to my bed and set it to a medium loudness for rain.  I set it to a timer of 25 minutes and I fell asleep before that so maybe it helped.

Joke of the day

The year is 2258 and Mike and Maureen land on mars after accumulating sufficient frequent flier miles.  They meet a Martian couple and start talking about all sorts of things.  Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc.  Maureen discusses hobbies, cuisine on Mars, etc.

Finally, Maureen brings up the subject of sex.  “Just how do you guys do it?” asks Maureen.

“Pretty much the same way you do,” responds the Martian woman.

Discussion ensues and finally curiosity gets the better of them and the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another.  Maureen and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips.  He’s got only a teeny, weeny member – about half an inch long and just a quarter inch thick.

“I don’t think this is going to work,” says Maureen understandably. 

“Why,” he asks, “What’s the matter?”

“Well,” she replies, “It’s just not long enough to reach me!”

“No problem,” he says and proceeds to slap his forehead with his palm.  With each slap of his forehead, his member grows until it’s quite remarkably long.

“Well,” she says, “That’s quite impressive but it’s still pretty narrow…”

“No problem,” he says and starts pulling his ears.  With each pull, his member grows wider and wider until the entire measurement is extremely exciting to the woman.

“Wow!” she exclaims, as they fell into bed and made mad, passionate love for many hours.

The next day the couples rejoin their normal partners and go their separate ways.  As they walk along, Mike says “Well, was it any good?”

“I hate to say it honey,” says Maureen, “but it was pretty wonderful.  How about you?”

“It was horrible,” he replies, “All I got was a terrible headache.  All night she kept slapping my forehead and pulling my ears.”

Wednesday, January 2, 2019

Last night I went to be at 11pm.  I woke up at 6:45 and got up at 7am.  Wow, I slept through the night.  What was different last night?  I remember when I took my melatonin at 10:15 I dropped one of the half size pieces on the floor.  I located it and took it along with my usual half size piece so I had closer to 3mg instead of 1 ½ mg.  Maybe that made the difference.  I remember being so warm lying in bed that I didn’t want to put the sheet on me so I waited awhile to cool off.

After breakfast, Laura and I left the apt at 8:15 and walked up to Avenida Poblado where we caught a Gascuña bus and got off at Calle 36.  (This bus fare increased to 3,300 pesos.)

In Bancolombia our turn number was A240, they were serving A209 and most seats were taken.  We waited 5 minutes and the numbers hadn’t changed so we walked over to Carbon de Leña where Laura had breakfast and I had a café con leche.

We were back at the bank by 9:20 and they were serving A234.  I went outside and to my usual ATM but it wasn’t working at all so I went to Colpatria (old Citibank) and paid a little more in ATM fee to get the amount of cash I needed.  Back at the bank it was our turn in about 10 minutes and we were served by the pretty 30-something lady who speaks a little English.  I understood something wasn’t working right and Laura explained that the bank was changing their end of year currency and if we return before 2:30 it might be working.  (Whatever that meant.)

Laura remembered Financiera Pagos so we went over there to see if we could get my cash.  I understood they couldn’t find it in their system because I selected Bancolombia or Davavienda as my pickup locations.  Now I know that.

I went to the curtain store Silvestre Parra across the street from the copy center I’ve used in the past.  Not only couldn’t they find my order but the lady said there is no Clara working there.  I tried calling Teresa twice but she didn’t answer.  Again I feel like a fool because of my limited Spanish.

I walked back to the apt and Teresa understood that I was at the wrong location.  She took the money and she’s going to pay the final bill for the blinds.

I checked online and was a little surprised to find my ATM withdrawal was shown as being from Citibank rather than Colpatria.

Teresa left the apt at 11:30 for her nueve eps appt at 12:30.

Laura texted me and asked me to bring her cellphone charger and her cash and asked to meet at 12:45.

I left just before 12:30 and caught a Sabaneta bus for 2,200 pesos – what?

At Bancolombia Laura was waiting for me.  I asked her if she had already taken a number and she said “no”.  She took me to the same cashier and asked if everything was working.  She sent us to the guy next to her and with a few more questions he gave me receipts for the deposits into the proper accounts.

We walked down to the mall and up to the 3^rd floor to the food court.  (On the way Laura pointed out the blind store that I should have gone to.)

At Papa Johns after placing our order I pointed out that the pizza boxes are marked on the side with 8”, 12” and 14”.  No sooner had we received our food when Laura received a call from Teresa that she had forgotten her keys and was stranded outside the apt.

After we finished eating Laura had to return right away to the apt and I went to Home Center.  After checking with several people finally a girl took me to the cookie sheets.  All of them were at least 40cm long and out tiny oven is only 37cm long so that didn’t work.

I also couldn’t find a rubber door stop so Teresa wouldn’t lock herself out of the apt.

Back at the apt Teresa told me the doctor said she’s doing well and I understand she has to go to the clinic in Itagui early tomorrow morning.  If I’m up early enough I’ll go with her because after that we could go to Las Americas so I could give them the final payment for the hospital.  (They are in the same general area of the city.)

Believe it or not, the only thing I was lacking to make cookies was sugar (white).  I didn’t feel like getting dressed and going out in the heat (high of 87 degrees today) next door to buy sugar and Teresa misplaced the phone number for the muchacho who does deliveries.  Teresa recommended I wait until later in the afternoon.

Because the apt faces west we get sun coming in through the windows starting about 3pm and it doesn’t go behind the building across the street until about 5:30.

While waiting I watched episode 2 (Day of Days) of Band of Brothers.  Later I watched episode 3 (Carentan).

About 5:30 I went next door and bought milk and sugar.  When I came out Laura was standing outside by the street.  She was on her way to go shopping at the mall.

I showed her the Exito Express phone number I had copied down and she pointed to the delivery guy across the street and told me that he’s the one who makes deliveries.  I went across the street handed him a piece of paper and pen and asked for the guy’s number.  He had the security guard read the number off his back and he wrote it down for me.

Back at the apt I copied the numbers into my and Teresa’s cell phones.

Finally, we got down to business and I mixed the ingredients by hand (would be much easier with an electric mixer) and made 18 oatmeal cookies.  Skeptical Teresa tasted one and proclaimed it was delicious.  Now she wants to sell them on the street.  Lol.  She asked me to make another batch for her – made with artificial sugar so they would have less fat.  I said I don’t think that’s going to work.  Next time I think I’m going to try peanut butter cookies.

I started watching Spotlight (8.1) on Netflix.

Laura came back about 9pm and showed us her goodies – she bought a pair of winter boots for about $50, a pair of leggings and a couple presents for the kids.

I continued watching Spotlight until 10:30 when I switched to my book before going to bed.

Joke of the day

A group of third, fourth, and fifth graders accompanied by two lady teachers, went on a field trip to the local race track to learn about the thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry.

During the tour some of the children wanted to go to the toilet so it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the others.

As the teacher assigned to the boys waited outside the men’s toilet one of the boys came out and told her he couldn’t reach the urinal.  Having no choice she went inside and began hoisting up the little boys by the armpits.

As she lifted one she couldn’t help but notice that he was rather well endowed, especially for a little kid.

“I guess you must be in the fifth,” she said.

“No ma’am,” he replied, “I’m in the seventh, riding Silver Arrow.  But thanks for the lift anyhow.”

Tuesday, January 1, 2019

Happy New Year!

Last night I fell asleep quickly but was awakened about 5am by fireworks.  It seemed to continue every hour until I got up at 7:45.

I see the Northwestern Wildcats beat the Utah Utes 31-20 in the Holiday Bowl.

I watched the Director’s cut of Groundhog Day that Michael had given me years ago.

I heard Laura playing a Queen song on her cellphone so I went to iTunes and started playing one of their songs.  She said “wait” and went to Youtube where she played on of their songs so we had audio and video.  Teresa enjoyed hearing them also.

After we went through all their songs I played a little ABBA & Simon & Garfunkle that she recognized.

Laura told me she was bored so we walked up to Percimon where she had a regular yogurt with lots of fruit and I had a small with blueberries and peanuts.

We decided to check out the mall to see if it was open.  It was but all the regular stores were closed; only the cafes and restaurants were open.

We stopped at Habia Una Vez where I had a cold frappe.

On our way back to the apt Teresa called Laura and asked her to bring over MT so they could go to mass.  I asked Teresa to leave out the ingredients I need to make the cookies and told me not to make them without her.  She said she would help me after she comes back from mass.  I continued on to Exito where I bought a roll of paper towels and a package of microwave popcorn for my next Bears game.

I watched episode one (Currahee) of Band of Brothers (not for the first time).

We all watched Revenge (6.3) on Netflix and enjoyed it quite a bit.

The movie ended at 10:15, I read a little, took my sleeping pill and went to bed about 11pm.

Joke of the day

A teacher was helping her third-grade students with a math problem.  After choosing a student in particular, she recited the following story:

“Johnny, there are three birds sitting on a telephone wire.  A man with a gun shoots one of the birds.  How many birds are left on the wire?”

The boy pauses. “None” he replied thoughtfully.

“No, no, no.  Let’s try again, maybe you didn’t hear me correctly,” the teacher says patiently.  She holds up three fingers.  “There are three birds sitting on a wire.  A man with a gun shoots one,”  She puts down one finger,  “How many birds are left on the wire?”

“None,” the boy says with authority.

The teacher sighs.  “Tell me how you came up with that.”

“It’s simple,” says the boy, “after the shot one bird, the noise from the gun scared the other two away.”

“Well,” she says, “that’s not technically correct, but I like the way you think.”

“Thanks,” chimes the boy, “now let me ask you a question.”

“Okay,” she said guardedly.

“There are three women sitting on a bench eating popsicles.  One woman is licking the popsicle, one woman is biting the popsicle, and one is sucking the popsicle.  Which one is married?” he asked innocently.

The teacher looked at the boy’s angelic face and writhed in agony, turning three shades of red.

“C’mon,” the boy said impatiently, “which one is it, the one licking the popsicle, the one biting it, or the one sucking it?  Which one is married?

“Well, uh,” she gulped and in a barely audible whisper replied, “the one who’s sucking?”

“Naw,” he says with surprise, “the one with the wedding ring.  But I like the way you think.”

Monday, December 31, 2018

Well, it’s the last day of the year – another one that has flown by.

Last night I went to bed at 10:45, got up once during the night and woke/got up at 7:45.

I had a bowl of granola with banana slices for breakfast.

I waited for Laura to get up, shower and dress and we left the apt about 9:45.

On our way I peeked in the window of the pet shop where, as usual, I saw a couple dogs getting haircuts.  Laura again said she wants a dog.  I would like to get one also but I have a few higher priorities right now.

We took a bus to downtown Envigado.  At the bank, surprise, it was closed.  I guess I’ll have to wait until Wednesday to claim my cash and pay my bills.

Laura and I went to Carbon de Leña where she had breakfast and I had a café con leche.  While sitting there I noticed a man walking across the street (towards the other side) put his hand in his pocket and when he removed it 3 bills fell out onto the road.  Soon a breeze blew them up further up the road.

When we left she went to catch a bus for downtown Medellin (wait, she told me she had to go in the afternoon, go figure) and I headed to Cotrafa to pay the Une bill.  Cotrafa also was closed.  I went up the street to Todo Drogas where I bought my medications for the new month for 200mil ($61).  I took a bus back to La Buena Mesa and walked back to the apt.

Inside I found Alejandro, Esmeralda’s son.  Teresa informed me that Esmeralda went to get her hair done.  I understand they are staying for lunch.  Great!  Teresa is making spaghetti ala Juanita and I will be making garlic bread.

Laura returned at 1pm with 3 cute winter hats she bought downtown Medellin for only 15,000 pesos ($5) total.

I just noticed my laptop feels a little warm.  I checked the fan and it isn’t working.  Why not?  I checked closer and it appears it is working.  Whew!

It appears the Kodak EasyShare camera my brother gave me doesn’t work any longer.  I put new batteries in it but it won’t turn on.

I made garlic bread and we all (minus Esmeralda) sat down to eat.  Piggy that I am I had 3 half slices of garlic bread, Laura and Alejandro had 2 and Teresa had 1.  Esmeralda arrived as we were finishing and she ate the last 2 slices.  Oh, we had spaghetti also.  Lol.

Esmeralda left.

Alejandro and I played about 3 games of chess on my chess table.  Of course I won each of them easily.

Alejandro left.

Laura came back with MT and they left to go to mass at San Marcos.  I asked Teresa if she has told MT that Laura is going to the US to be an au pair in Mass.  Teresa said she is going to tell her Laura is studying in a US college while staying in my brother’s apartment.  I told her not to depend on me remembering all these lies.

Wow, when they finally returned they reported that it was a 2-hour service.

Starting about 9pm we had a few fireworks but at least there hasn’t been any loud music – so far.

Joke of the day

A lady gets on a public bus.  Without saying a word, she gestures to the bus driver by sticking her thumb up her nose and waving her fingers at the driver. 

The driver acknowledges the lady, turns to her and uses both hands in the same type of gesture and waves all his fingers at her. 

The woman holds her right arm out at the driver and chops at it a few times with her left hand.

Then the driver puts his left hand on his right bicep and jerks his right arm up in a fist at her.

The woman then cups both of her hands under her breasts and lifts gently.

The driver places both of his hands at his crotch and gently lifts up.

Then the woman frowns, runs a finger up between her derriere, and gets off the bus.

There is another woman sitting in the front row of the bus who witnessed the whole exchange.  She speaks up, “That was the most disgusting thing I have ever seen on a public bus!  What the hell were you doing?”

“Listen lady”, states the gruff bus driver, “the lady that got on the bus before was a deaf-mute.  She asked me if the bus went to 5^th street.  I told her no, we go to 10^th street.  She asked if we make many stops.  I told her that his was the express.  She asked if we go by the dairy, and I told her we go by the ballpark.  She said, “Shit, I’m on the wrong bus!” and got off.