Monday, May 13, 2019

Well, it was kind of a strange night.  I know I woke up several times, once when Teresa was snoring softly but all I have to is change my position and she shuts up.  I got up at 6:30 and strangely don’t feel tired although I’m pretty sure I’m going to need a nap later.

Teresa left at 7:45 for her 8am class.  Afterward she has to stop at nueva eps for her blood test results.

I watched the first 20 minutes of the Today show then left for the gym.  Today there was no wifi let alone internet.  I recognized a young man, who speaks a little English, from the Envigado Park Smartfit location.  I think his name is something like Vidmar which sounds more German to me than Colombian.  I completed all my exercises in an hour and 30 minutes.

I watched Chapter 6: The ideas behind the French Defense and Chapter 7: Typical attacks, tactics and plans in the French.  The information is getting to be real helpful although it will take some time to go over and master the material.

Tomorrow I have a 7:20 doctor’s appointment to go over my cholesterol results.

Just before 9pm it started raining.  Teresa commented that it will probably rain all night.

7,198 steps today.

Joke of the day

A Mexican teen came up to the Mexican border riding his bicycle and carrying two large bags on his shoulders. The border patrol officer stopped him and said, “What’s in the bags?”

“Sand,” he answered.

The officer said, “We’ll just see about that."

He took the bags and tore them apart. He emptied them out but found nothing in them except sand. He detained the teen overnight and had the sand analyzed, only to discover that there was nothing but pure sand in the bags. The guard released him, put the sand into new bags, hefted them onto the lad’s shoulders, and let him cross the border.

A day later, the same thing happened. The officer asked, “What have you got?”

“Sand,” said the youngster.

The officer did a thorough examination and discovered that the bags contained nothing but sand. He gave the sand back to him, and the young man crossed the border on his bicycle.

This sequence of events was repeated every day for three years. One day, the teen didn't show. Days passed and the officer never saw him. A month later, a messenger came and handed the officer an invitation for a house warming.

When he got to the address, he saw it was a large villa with a pool, and many guests celebrating. Inside he found the teen, holding a glass of wine and enjoying his teen guests.

“Hey, Buddy,” said the officer. “It’s driving me crazy. How are you so rich when all you were carrying across the border was sand? Just between you and me, what were you smuggling?”

The youngster flashed a smile and said: "Bicycles.”

Sunday, May 12, 2019

Happy Mothers Day!

We were awakened at 2:50 in the morning by loud music outside.  I got up and went to close the window when I noticed a car in the street right under our apartment.  I guessed they were making a purchase at Exito because soon they were gone.

I got up once more at 7:30, finally waking/getting up at 8:45.

I left the apt at 10:45 and walked to Starbucks with my insulated water bottle.  I sat outside for awhile drinking water and reading news on my cell phone.  I left at noon and they were putting the orange cones into a truck signaling the end of Ciclovia for the day so I had to return via sidewalks being careful at each of the side streets.  I was back just before 1pm.

Teresa and I took a nap from 2:30 to 3:30.

I watched Chapter 4: Typical attacks tactics and plans after 1e4 - Part 1.  The material is starting to get very good.

We left the apt about 6pm and met MT at the mall.  We went to Habia Una Vez where I had a café con leche and they chatted for awhile.  I received a text message that Laura was at the Boston airport.  About 7:30 we went to Percimon where we had frozen yogurt.

At 8:45 we said goodbye and returned to our respective apartments.

9,260 steps today.

Joke of the day

A young newlywed couple wanted to join a church.  The pastor told them, “We have special requirements for new parishioners.  You must abstain from making love for two weeks.”  The couple agreed and returned two weeks later.

The pastor asked them, “Well, were you able to get through the two weeks without being intimate?”

“Pastor, I’m afraid we weren’t able to go two weeks without making love,” the young man replied.

“What happened?” inquired the pastor.

“My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it.  When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there.”

“You understand of course, that this means that you’ll not be welcome in our church,” stated the pastor.

“That’s okay,” said the young man.  “We’re not welcome at the grocery store anymore either.”

Saturday, May 11, 2019

 I slept well despite getting up twice during the night, finally waking/getting up at 7am.

Like yesterday no back pain although still a little weak.

I left the apt at 8:45 and took a bus to Envios Market where I picked up an envelope from BSI Financial, a pension information booklet from CSRA (never heard of them), and a small package with the Expand-A-Lung I ordered.  It cost me a fee of 9,900.

I walked to the Dann Carlton hotel and informed a man at the entrance that I wanted to change my reservation at Tony Roma’s from 3 to 2 but he said “don’t worry about it”.

I stopped at the ATM where I withdrew more 20s.  It was such a cool morning I decided to walk to to Starbucks.  I stopped in La Strada and San Fernando Plaza looking for a Banco Caja Social but didn’t find one.

At Starbucks I had my usual coffee while reading some news on my cellphone.

At Oviedo it was a short wait for a bus back to the apt.

I backed up my hard drive for the first time in months.  My bad, I used to do it every month.

Teresa called me at 1pm and said something about long lines to get her hair done and I should go to lunch on my own.

I left the apt at 1:10 and walked to Papa John’s where I had a small pepperoni pizza and a small Coke for 20,800 ($6.50).  Because it was so cool I had left the apt with just my umbrella and no sunglasses.  When I came out of the restaurant I realized my mistake because it had almost cleared completely.

On my way back to the apt I passed someone carrying roses and I thought that would be a good thing to give to Teresa.  I didn’t want to have to walk all the way downtown but I thought I remembered seeing a place closer to Aymará.  A couple blocks past it I thought I was going to have to give up but there it was.  They had lots of paint buckets with flowers in water.  I bought 15 beautiful red roses for 15mil ($5).

I was back by 3pm and Teresa was lying in bed but she got up for the flowers!

She still hadn’t gotten her hair done.

I took a nap from 4 to 5pm and she left at 5:45 to get her hair done.

Teresa got off the phone with Laura and she said that Lenny (the boyfriend) wants to visit in September to see his future mother-in-law.  Wow!

Since Laura is in the US I think all they would have to do is get married there – they don’t have to go through the fiance visa procedure.  What I don’t know is if she could visit here before getting her green card.

I watched Chapter 3: How to get your isolated pawn positions with 1e4.

Teresa came back just before 7pm with her hair done.  She tried on several outfits and we left the apt at 7:25.  (I’m sure Teresa wouldn’t want me to wear my fanny pack so I just grabbed some bills for car fare and my cedula and debit card.)

It was raining lightly and I had my large umbrella with me.  Teresa called for a taxi and it was only a 5 minute wait.  Traffic wasn’t bad and we arrived at the Dann Carlton Hotel at 7:40.

We took an elevator up to the 18^th floor and and then walked up a winding staircase to the 19^th floor to Tony Roma’s restaurant.

We had a nice table next to the window (like every other table, lol) and Teresa thought she felt a tremblor.  I pointed out that the restaurant revolves – or at least the section with table and chairs so in time you get a 360 degree view of Medellin.  It wasn’t perfectly smooth as there were a few obvious bumps.  Kind of like being on a boat that hasn’t left the pier. 

We each ordered a mango juice with water and no sugar then I ordered Nachos Rio Grande to share as an appetizer.  Now that I look at the bill more closely I see it was a ½ order so Teresa must have said something to the Spanish speaking waiter.  He then took the order for our entrees.  I showed concern that they were going to bring our appetizer and entrees at the same time but the waiter assured me that we would have 30 minutes to enjoy our appetizer.  I ordered the baby beef and a baked potato and Teresa ordered the salmon with mashed potatoes.

The nachos, small that they were, were American style with cheese, lettuce, refried beans, avocado and sour cream.  Delicious!

My baby beef was delicious also, cooked perfectly although slightly chewy.  Teresa enjoyed her salmon very much.  For dessert I had café con leche and we shared an order of flan.

The total bill came to 156,384 without the tip.  For some reason the waiter had problems getting the machine to take my debit card but it eventually worked.  I was going to tip the waiter 30mil but I wanted to keep the only 10mil bill I had for the taxi so I tipped him 40mil.  Wow, that’s about 25% of our bill.

We were back at the apt by 10:30, I took my pills and read for about 45 minutes before going to bed.

10,597 steps today.

Joke of the day

One day, a little old lady went to see the doctor. 
The kindly medical professional asked her, "What seems to be the problem, dear?" 

She said, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much.  My farts never smell, and are always silent.  As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent."
The doctor said, "I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week."

The next week, the little old lady returned for her follow-up appointment.
"Doctor," she said, "I don't know what you gave me, but now my farts, although still silent, stink terribly..."
The doctor said: "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, we’ll work on your hearing."

Friday, May 10, 2019

I woke up twice during the night, the second time with another cramp in my right calf.  I finally woke/got up at 7:30.

This is the first time in quite a while that first thing in the morning my back doesn’t hurt.  It still feels a little weak but at least the pain is gone.  Not sure what the reason is: maybe the muscle relaxant pills or the little yoga exercises I’m doing in the afternoon?

I watched the first 20 minutes of the Today show and left for the gym.  I completed all my exercises in 90 minutes.

Among new US movie releases I wouild like to see The Biggest Little Farm (8.1), The Serengeti Rules (7.0) and maybe Tolkien (7.0).  My son (5.8) sounds interesting but its original language is French which means that here I would have a choice of hearing it dubbed in Spanish or in its original French with Spanish subtitles.  In either case I wouldn’t understand much. Locally, the only movie that looks interesting is The Professor and the Madman (7.4) only playing at Vizcaya.

Teresa called at 12:15 and told me there is a long line at Claro for her to pay her bill and to order a data plan for me.  She will call a little later as she is leaving and we will meet at the menu of the day restaurant in La Buena Mesa.

Teresa called me back at 12:35 and told me she’s already at the restaurant.  I changed my clothes and met her there by 12:45 where we had their menu of the day for 34 mil ($11).

Back at the apt we took a nap from 1:40 to 2:40pm.

We left the apt at 4pm and quickly caught a taxi.  Traffic was very heavy and we didn’t arrive at Premium Plaza mall until 4:45.  On the way when we were stopped in traffic at Parque Poblado we were approached by a street performer that looked and acted exactly like the joker.  He even spoke some English and really freaked us all out.  Teresa spent over an hour in Zara looking at clothes but didn’t find anything in her size.  At one point I noticed on the 2^nd floor a bookstore where everything was in English.  We were having dinner at Subway when Teresa got a call and I undersood JJ left the finca gate open and horses wandered inside.  She made a few calls including JJ and I understand everything is under control now and she won’t have to go there tomorrow.

Laura is visiting her boyfriend in Boston this weekendand I got a few text messages while she was waiting at the airport.

Teresa looked in a couple more stores and we took a taxi back to Envigado.  Traffic was very heavy as we approached the Gold Mile but luckily our driver knew of a short cut around most of it.

We were back at the apt by 8pm.

7,433 steps today.

Joke of the day

Two Irish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other, “I hear that the people in this country actually eat dogs.”

“Odd”, her companion replies, “But if we are going to live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.”

Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk towards the cart.

“Two dogs, please,” says one.

The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter.

Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their “dogs”.

The mother superior is first to open hers.  She begins to blush and then, staring at it for a moment, leans over to the other nun and whispers cautiously:

“Which part did you get?”

Thursday, May 9, 2019

I slept well waking at 6am with a cramp in my right calf.  I worked it out easily and rested a bit until getting up at 6:45.

I watched a short Chapter 17 – Next steps improvement tips.  I found out that this was the end of Master Method Volume 1.  I still have a MM Volume 2 to view.

I made plans to meet Rory next Tuesday at noon for chess in Unicentro mall.

I watched the first hour of the Today show.

I left the apt at 12:20 and met Chuck at Persimmon in La Buena Mesa.  I took him across the street to Jack & Roll where we each had a burger, he had a bottle of water and I had the house juice for a total of 66,101 ($22).  I gave him his Condorito magazines and he gave me 2 8oz. bags of Dickies’ Ol’ Fashun Peanut Brittle, a 24oz bag of Hampton Farms salted-in-the-shell peanuts, and a Gillette anti-perspirant.  We went to Eduardo Madrid Panaderia for coffee.  He also had a brownie and I had a warmed up oatmeal cookie.

We finally said goodbye at 2:30 and I walked back to the apt.

Teresa soon left to meet her mother and go to El Tesoro mall to exchange clothes she bought a month ago.

I happened to turn on American Pickers (season 17 episode 32) and they had a short segment on Wisconsin’s House on the Rock.

Teresa came back with 2 new blouses which she later tried on and proclaimed that she didn’t like either of them and wants to go to Santafe mall tomorrow to exchange them for something else.

Early in the evening I asked Teresa if she wanted to go for pizza.  She said it was raining.  Actually it was only misting but it was a good idea we didn’t go because soon it was a downpour.  The forecast is for a high of 79-81 degrees for the next week – typical here for rainy May.

I watched Chapter 1: Thinking in the right way and Chapter 2: Attack with the isolated pawn.

3,805 steps today.

Joke of the day

The results of some very recent research from a renowned and illustrious educational institution have conclusively and shockingly revealed that, contrary to all expectations and hopes, there are 7 kinds of sex. Here are the findings of this groundbreaking study: 

The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex

This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone, and you both have sex until you are blue in the face. 

The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex

This is when you have been with your partner for a short time, and you are so needy you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex

This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine, and you usually have sex only in your bedroom. 

The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex

This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say "screw you."

The 5th kind of sex is called: Religious Sex

Which means you get nun in the morning, nun in the afternoon, and nun at night (very popular).

The 6th kind is called: Courtroom Sex

This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone. 

And, last, but not least: 

The 7th kind of sex is called: Social Security Sex.

You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy yourself! 

Wednesday, May 8, 2019

I woke up once during the night finally waking/getting up at 6:30 early enough for Teresa to make me breakfast before she left for her exercise class.

The street and sidewalks look a little damp so we must have had some rain overnight.  The forecast for this week is highs between 79 and 81 so I guess we’ll be having some rain.

I talked to Chuck and we made plans to meet for lunch in La Buena Mesa at 12:30.  I’m going to take him to Jack & Root for a burger and then to the Eduardo Madrind bakery.

Did I mention that a few days ago Teresa informed me that MT would not be joining us for our mother’s day dinner on Saturday night?  She’s been invited to spend the weekend at someone’s finca so she’ll miss out on the dinner at Tony Roma’s, not that she would have been eating much anyway.

I’m sitting at my desk updating my blog and outside I hear English being spoken.  I go out on the balcony and look up and I meet Doyle, from Scotland, talking to a friend visiting him.  He mentioned he has a Colombian wife that will be having a baby in the next couple weeks.  He encouraged me to stop by anytime or to meet for coffee.

I watched the first 20 minutes of the Today show and left for the gym.  It felt cooler than normal and the clouds looked kind of dark so maybe I should have brought my umbrella.  Just as I was walking up the sidewalk to enter the gym some raindrops started coming down.  I completed all my exercises in an hour and 30 minutes.  There was a light rain as I returned to the apt.  Teresa called me as I entered the guard house and said she was waiting for the rain to stop before returning to the apt.  (She had her gym class followed by helping her mother with something at the bank.)

She returned to the apt at 11:45.

We left at 12:30 and first I slid a business card under Doyle’s door with my phone number and that I use Whatsapp.  Despite a light rain we quickly caught a taxi to Pricesmart.  (Teresa forgot the cans of tuna she wanted to exchange.)  First we had lunch in their food court – sharing a small order of chicken wings (with their delicious sauce) and chicken salad.  She had a soda and I just had water from the bottle I brought with me.  She picked up 2 cases of almond milk (hopefully enough for the month) and a few other things.  I picked up a bottle of Planters peanut butter and a box of 2 bags of granola.  The total came to 280,600 ($86) which I paid with my debit card.  We quickly caught a taxi back to the apt.

I received a text message from Doyle that they will be in all afternoon and I should stop by if I can.

Jose sent me some information about next week’s chess tournament. I didn’t like the fact that the first 3 games are all at 6pm and the time control is 90 minutes (instead of the usual 60) plus 30 seconds.  I’m afraid some games could last all night so I think I’m going to skip this tournament.

I went upstairs (same apt but 1 floor up) and met Doyle, his friend (I can’t remember his name) and Doyle’s wife Vanessa.  Doyle is 76 and from Texas via Costa Rica and his friend is just visiting for the week.  His wife Vanessa is 39 and she showed us some of her tattoos.  We talked for about 2 hours and I learned a lot about the soccer season from his friend.  Doyle and his friend will be spending a few days in Cartagena but when he returns he wants to join my gym.  I understood he had a quadruple bypass recently and his cardiologist recommends he get more exercise.

I returned to the apt about 5:30 and at 6:30 Teresa called me from the mall.  I changed my clothes and met them at Café Arangos about 7pm.  I had a café con leche while Teresa had a bottle of water.  Just before 8pm we went to Crepes & Waffles for dinner.  MT ordered a chicken with spinach plate but after a few bites she was full (no stomach, remember).  Teresa said in the future she’ll just order soup so as not to waste food.  I paid the 73,600 ($22) and we walked MT back to her apt.

Teresa and I stopped at Exito where we bought 2 bags of milk and 4 ripe bananas.

10,437 steps today.

Joke of the day

The doctor of an 80-year-old woman had finally retired. Therefore, at the elderly lady's next checkup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her.

As the young doctor was looking through them, his eyes grew wide as he realized that the little old Grandmother had a prescription for birth control pills.

"Mrs. Smith, you do realize that these are birth control pills?"
"Yes, doctor. They really help me sleep at night."

"Mrs. Smith", he said, flabbergasted, "I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in these that could possibly help you sleep!"
The old lady reached out and patted the innocent, young doctor’s knee: 

“Yes, dear. I understand. But believe me. They definitely help me sleep at night...”
“...you see, every morning, I grind one up and mix it in a glass of orange juice for my 16-year-old granddaughter!

Tuesday, May 7, 2019

I woke up several times during the night, but only got up once in the middle of the night and again at 5am, finally waking/getting up at 7:15.

I left the apt just before 9am and arrived at the chess league at 9:30.  I was surprised that the notice for next weeks’ chess tournament was no longer posted on their bulletin board.  Jose arrived 15 minutes later and we went inside and he spoke with the secretary.  I wanted to register for the tournament but for some reason I have to wait until tomorrow.  Jose said he would call them tomorrow to see what’s going on.  I had black in the first game and we played a 73 move draw.

We had a nice lunch in Tropical restaurant in Obispo mall for 11,000 pesos.

Back at the chess league I had the white pieces and I messed up on the 10^th move and I lost quickly.  We started another game and with the black pieces I played a reverse English and had a nice attack going and I won in 46 moves.

It was now 4pm so we called it a day and we walked to the metro.  I wished him a nice vacation as they leave next week for Spain, Egypt, and Greece, returning on June 21^st.

On the metro I glanced at my step counter and it read something like 89 so I know something happened to it.  Maybe I accidentally hit the reset button or maybe it’s because I was wearing it “sideways” on the pocket of my shorts.

I arrived back at the apt by 5pm.

Teresa said she didn’t leave the apt all day because her cancer medication made her feel dizzy.

I received emails from Envios Market notifying me that I have 2 documents and a package waiting for pickup.

*1,078 steps today.

Joke of the day

A cop stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit.  Since he's in a good mood that day he decides he might give the fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. 

So, he asks the man his name. 

"Fred," the driver replies. 

"Fred what?" the officer asks. 

"Just Fred," the man responds. 

When the officer presses him for a last name, the man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. 

The officer thinks he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. 

"Tell me Fred, how did you lose your last name?" 

The man replies, "It's a long story so stay with me. I was born Fred Dingaling. I know, funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself. I studied hard and got good grades." 

"When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college medical school, internship, residency, finally got my degree so I was Fred Dingaling, MD." 

"After a while I got bored being a doctor so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream. Got all the way through school, got my degree so I was now Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS." 

"Got bored doing dentistry so I started fooling around with my assistant. She gave me VD. So, I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS with VD." 

"Well, the ADA found out about the VD so they took away my DDS so I was Fred Dingaling MD with VD." 

"Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD." 

Then the VD took away my dingaling . . . so now I'm just Fred."