Tuesday, January 15, 2019

I got up once or twice during the night finally waking/getting up at 6:30.

I made a quick trip next door to Exito for a couple bags of milk.

My brother sent me an email showing that Mayorista has a food court in the building at the entrance.  I’ll have to check that out sometime.

We left the apt at 9am and took a taxi to Mayorista.  I helped Teresa pick up some groceries but soon ran out of things as we hadn’t made a list.  I went outside to a nearby stall where I bought a café con leche for 3,100 pesos and read from my Nook book.  At one point 2 young girls, without saying anything, sat down at my table.  Teresa soon came out but didn’t say anything; I guess this is normal in Colombia.  She ordered a pastry and a yogurt drink then bought a bunuelo for me.  I got another café con leche to go with it.

I noticed the middle aged saleslady holding hands with an older man and she noticed I noticed and smiled at me.

I made a trip across the street to the public restroom and when I returned the old guy was gone.  I asked the saleslady what happened to her boyfriend and she laughed.

We checked out our groceries and took an efectivo car back to the apt.

About 1pm Laura and I took a taxi to El Diamonte CC by the stadium.  Laura stopped at a small copy center where she had a copy made of her cedula.  We walked a couple more blocks to the Auto Diagnostic Center at Calle 51 #71-04.  Inside I paid 255mil and Laura soon had her international driver’s license.

She told me she used to work near here and she knows a good place for lunch.  (It’s obviously closer than where I had planned – Tropical in Obilisco mall and it’s always nice to try someplace new.)  She said something about black and coastal.  We walked a few blocks to a small restaurant.  Not only could I not find their name anywhere I also couldn’t find an address.  We had a nice menu del dia for 10mil each.  Each of the workers were black so maybe they did come from the coast.  I noticed a Colpatria Constructora sign across the street but later when I googled it I still couldn’t find an address.  Checking my cellphone I was surprised to see wifi for a Smartfit.  I looked over my shoulder and there was the building.  I easily signed in but the signal was too weak.

We walked outside and there was a taxi which took us back to the apt.

Teresa wasn’t there.

I watched a couple more episodes of The Walking Dead on Direct TV.

Teresa came back with her hair done but I guess she gave up waiting for a manicure and pedicure.  She says she’ll try again early tomorrow.

Joke of the day

Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older, he was increasingly hampered by excruciatingly painful headaches.  When his personal hygiene and love life began to suffer, he sought medical help.  After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who solved the problem.

The doctor said, “I have good news and I have bad news.  The good news is that I can cure your headaches, the bad news is that it will require castration.  You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine.  The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove your testicles.”

Joe was, of course, both shocked and depressed.  He indeed wondered if he even had anything to live for after castration.  Yet, he immediately decided he had no choice but to go under the knife; his headaches just had to cease.

When he left the hospital his mind was at long last clear, but naturally he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.  As he walked down the street, he felt like an entirely different person.

He walked past a men’s clothing store and thought, “I’ll buy a new suit.  Maybe that will cheer me up.”

He entered the shop and told the salesman, “I’d like a new suit.

The salesman eyed him briefly and said, “Let’s see… size 44 long.”

Joe laughed, “Yeah, that’s right, how did you know?”

“It’s my job to know,” said the salesman.  Joe tried on the suit and it fit perfectly.

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, “How about a new shirt?”

Joe thought for a moment and then said, “Okay, sure.”

The salesman eyed Joe and said, “Let’s see…34 sleeve and … 16 neck.”

Joe was once again surprised, “That’s exactly right.  How did you know?”

“It’s my job to know,” said the salesman, very matter of factly.

Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.

As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, “How about new shoes?”

Joe was on a roll by this point and said, “Well, sure.”

The salesman eyed Joe’s feet and said, “Let’s see…9…wide.”

Joe was astonished, “That’s right again…how did you know?”

“It’s my job to know,” said the salesman.  Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly.

Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, “So, how about a new hat?”

Without hesitation, Joe said, “Yeah, go for it.”

The salesman eyed Joe’s head and said, “Let’s see, I’d say 7 5/8.”

Joe was incredulous.  “That’s right.  Man, how can you tell all of this?”

“It’s my job to know,” reiterated the salesman.  The hat fit perfectly.

Joe was feeling great, when the salesman asked, “How about some new underwear?”

Joe hesitated for a second and said, “Sure…”

The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe’s waist and said, “Let’s see…size 36.”

Joe laughed, “No, I’ve worn size 34 since I was 18 years old.”

The salesman shook his head, “No, no, you can’t wear a size 34.  It would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.”