Last night I went to bed at 11:30, woke up at 6am, fell back asleep waking/getting up at 7:15.
Colombia now has 45 Corona Virus cases.
Jose, or rather his wife Maria, cancelled our chess get-together for tomorrow.
I watched the first hour of the Today show, took my shower, dressed and walked to the mall. I recycled a vitamin bottle and noticed the Baloto stand was unoccupied with a sign on it saying it was closed. I asked a security guard standing nearby if he knew when it would be open. He said something about another location on the other side of Exito. I walked over there but didn’t see anything. I ended up walking 2 blocks away to a Gana store to pay the Direct TV bill and the finca utility bill.
Back at the mall I had a café con leche while doing a few chess puzzles at Todo Fresa.
I bought a bottle of Hunt’s BBQ sauce at Exito then returned to the apt.
Here is a good map of the corona virus I was directed to: https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/world/coronavirus-maps.html
Be sure to click on “show more” under the list of countries.
Oops. You might need to have a NY Times subscription, which I have.
More facts from tonight’s news: the metro cable system is closed (not just the line to Parque Arvi) and Colombia’s beaches are closed. There was also something about steps the church is taking to protect their parishioners so I guess they are still open.
I finally received an email from Smartfit that their locations are closed.
Teresa suggested we got to Parque Envigado tomorrow and buy a parcheesi game. I told her I thought I could find one in Dollar City
6,298 steps today.
Joke of the day
The army recently found it had too many
generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They went through lots of
retirement plans but nothing seemed to please everyone.
In the end, desperate, they promised any general who retired immediately his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points on the general's body, with the general getting to select any pair of points he wished.
The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Six feet.
He walked out with a check of $720,000.
The second man, an Army general, asked them to measure from the tip of his up-stretched hands to his toes. Eight feet. He walked out with a check for $960,000.
In the end, desperate, they promised any general who retired immediately his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points on the general's body, with the general getting to select any pair of points he wished.
The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Six feet.
He walked out with a check of $720,000.
The second man, an Army general, asked them to measure from the tip of his up-stretched hands to his toes. Eight feet. He walked out with a check for $960,000.
When the third general,
a grizzled old Marine General, was asked where to measure, he told the pension
man: "From the tip of my penis to my testicles."
The pension man suggested that perhaps the Marine general might like to reconsider, pointing out the nice checks the previous two generals had received. The Marine general insisted and the pension expert said that would be fine, but that he'd better get the medical officer to do the measuring.
The medical officer attended and asked the general to drop 'em. He did. The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of the general's penis and began to work back.
"My God man!" he said, "where are your testicles??"
"Vietnam ," smiled the
general.
The pension man suggested that perhaps the Marine general might like to reconsider, pointing out the nice checks the previous two generals had received. The Marine general insisted and the pension expert said that would be fine, but that he'd better get the medical officer to do the measuring.
The medical officer attended and asked the general to drop 'em. He did. The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of the general's penis and began to work back.
"My God man!" he said, "where are your testicles??"
"
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