Monday, April 29, 2019

I slept through the night waking and getting up at 6am.

Teresa left at 7:45 for her gym class.

I went downstairs to the garage and easily retrieved the yoga mat from the storage area.  This afternoon I plan to use it to try some yoga exercises for my back.

This morning I found several of these postings to my blog from webmasterbagwan@gmail.com:

professional hackers for hire 
hire a hacker for cell phone 
computer hackers for hire 
hire a hacker to get a password 
hire a hacker to fix credit score 
hire hacker to change grades 
Hire a hacker to hack a hacker 
Hacker for hire 
Professional ethical hacker for hire 
Hacker for spy services 

If they get too troublesome I may have to shut down my blog.  Time will tell.

Wednesday will be May 1^st and a holiday here so I’ll need to pay for the apt, my health insurance, and the gym tomorrow after I finish playing chess with Jose.  I sent myself $750 via World Remit to be picked up at Bancolombia.  They close at 6pm on Wednesday.

Jose and I plan to meet at Habia Una Vez tomorrow for coffee at 9:30am.

I watched the first 20 minutes of the Today show and headed for the gym.  Again I got a strong wifi connection but no internet.  I complained to Juan Carlos and he turned off my wifi connection and turned it back on and then I got internet.  In the next hour I lost it again and had to do another restart.  I completed all my exercises in about an hour and 20 minutes.

Back at the apt Teresa showed up 10 minutes later at 11:30.

I tried the yoga poses and was surprised how difficult they are.  For some of them I couldn’t handle more than a minute.  Lol.

I watched Chapter 14 – Improving your endgame instinct.

5,026 steps today.

Joke of the day

A woman decided to have a facelift for her 50th birthday. She spent $5,000 and felt pretty good about the results. On her way home, she stopped at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving she said to the clerk: 

"I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"

"About 32," was the reply. 

"Nope! I'm exactly 50," the woman said happily.

A little while later she went into McDonald's and asked the counter girl the very same question. 

The girl said, "I guess about 29." 

The woman replied, "Nope I'm 50."

Now she was feeling really good about herself. She stopped in a drug store on her way down the street. She went up to the counter to get some mints and asked the clerk this burning question.

The clerk responded, "Oh, I'd say 30." 

Again she proudly responded, "I am 50, but thank you!"

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asked an old man waiting next to her the same question. 

He replied, "Lady, I'm 78 and my eyesight is going...

"Although, when I was young, there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra. Then, and only then, can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are."

They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of her.

She finally blurted out, "What the hell! Go ahead."

He slipped both of his hands under her bra and began to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounced and weighed each one of her bosoms. He gently pinched them as well. He pushed her assets together and rubbed them against each other.

 After a couple of minutes of this, she said, "Okay, okay...How old am I?" 

He completed one last squeeze, removed his hands, and said, "Madam, you are 50."

Stunned and amazed, the woman said, "That was incredible! How could you tell??"

"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."

Sunday, April 28, 2019

Today is Easter for Orthodox Christians.

I got up twice during the night, again at 6:30, had difficulty getting back to sleep and I finally got up at 7:45.

My back felt a little sore while still lying in bed.  I stretched as much as I could – like trying to make myself longer – and it soon felt a little better.  The past few days the Colombian Expat Exchange blog has had a continuing discussion on beds and mattresses so I snuck in a question about whether soft or hard mattresses are better for my lower back pain.  One of the responses I got suggested I do yoga stretches for my back.  I googled yoga for lower back pain and found a few suggestions.  I’ll give them a try soon and hopefully they will help.

Teresa got a call from JJ that there wasn’t any running water at the finca.  She called someone then informed me that she had to go to the finca after breakfast.

I had a bowl of hot oatmeal for breakfast and left the apt at 9:15.  I noticed that the tarp fences are down at Otra Parte so I guess it is open or will be open soon.  They had a yoga class going on in their restaurant area.  I had my usual coffee at Starbucks.  On the way back I saw an exercise class outside Santafe mall.  I was back at the apt by noon.

Teresa of course was already gone.

I walked up to Jack & Roll and was surprised it wasn’t open yet it being a little after noon.  I looked in the window and a young man came out and said they would be open in 10 minutes.  I told him I don’t have 10 minutes as he motioned for me to sit at an outside table.  I sat down and waited a few minutes and no one came to take my order so I left.

I walked down to the mall where I bought a package of underwear at Exito.  I returned it to the apt then caught a taxi to Vizcaya mall for 10mil.  I quickly purchased a preferred seat for 9,000 pesos but I couldn’t believe the long lines at the concession stand.  I went down a level and bought a BBQ sandwich and an iced tea at Subway.  Back upstairs I got in a long line and after a 25 minute wait I had a medium soda and my bucket filled with popcorn.  The first vending machine I tried was empty (not even ice) so I had to go to the one furthest from my theater.  As I filled it with Pepsi I noticed it wasn’t bubbling and I should have stopped immediately but I continued filling it with what turned out to be flat soda.  Inside the theater the movie had already started and I found someone in my seat but they soon realized their mistake and moved over one seat.

The movie title – Living with the Enemy (translated from the Spanish title) – should have been Sleeping with the Enemy and was only okay.

Outside the mall I started walking down the hill towards Avenida Poblado but after a block I felt a pain in my right knee so I hailed a taxi.  I checked my step counter and I was over 14,000 steps for the day so maybe I hit my limit.  I never felt any pain later so I guess it was the additional fact I was walking downhill.

Back at the apt Teresa didn’t return until 7:30.  I understand she has to add another water tank above the finca.  She already called someone to install it and she’ll be going with him on Tuesday to purchase and install it.

15,388 steps today.

Joke of the day

An elderly man who was on the decline went to the doctor for his yearly exam.

A few weeks later the doctor saw him on the street with a young babe on his arm, a big smile on his face, and he was in peak condition.

The doctor exclaimed, surprised, "Mr. Jones, it's great to see you, you look great, what happened?"

"Well, Doc, I just took your advice, and it worked! I feel 30 years younger!"

The doctor was confused. "What advice was that?"

"You told me to be cheerful and get a hot mama!"

"No no no!" said the doctor. "I said 'Be careful, you've got a heart murmur!'"

Saturday, April 27, 2019

I slept well only getting up once at 5:30, finally waking/getting up at 7:45.

We left the apt at 9am and took a taxi to Mayorista. I helped Teresa find a few things then left her to finish while I had a café con leche outside and read my Reader’s Digest.  After she filled the cart she came out and had an Avena (oat smoothie) and a fish cake.  I paid for the groceries with my debit card and we took an effectivo (cash car) back to the apt.

After lunch Teresa went to meet with her mother and I watched the last day of the NFL draft, which reminds me, the other day when Teresa and I were heading to lunch a group of high school kids were walking towards us.  They were all wearing NFL t-shirts – 4 N.E. Patriots, 1 Miami Dolphins, and 1 Cleveland Browns.  I guess it must have been NFL t-shirt day at school.  I happened to be wearing my Chicago Bears t-shirt that day.

Teresa called me at 5:45 and asked me to meet them at Aymará.  I shut down my laptop and changed my clothes and met them there at 6:15.  They chatted for awhile and at 6:45 we took a taxi to Antica for pizza.

We were back at the apt by 8pm.

5,327 steps today.

Joke of the day

This guy goes into a sex shop and asks for a blow-up sex doll.

The proprietor asks, “You want a Christian doll, a Jewish doll, or a Muslim doll?”

The guy asks, “What difference does it make?”

And the proprietor says, “Well, the Muslim dolls blow themselves up.”

Friday, April 26, 2019

I slept well until 4:30, finally fell back asleep waking/getting up at 7am.

My back feels a little stronger this morning.  I hope that continues.  If not…

This morning Dr. Rios answered with Nueva Vida Centro Quiropractico Espinal at Carrera 43D #13-06 in the Manila barrio of Poblado at 266-2183  It looks like its about 5 blocks from Parque Poblado and the doctor has 18 years of clinical experience in the US so I’m pretty sure he speaks English.

I watched the first 20 minutes of the Today show then walked down the hill to the corner but didn’t see anyone selling newspapers.  I returned to the apt and picked up my gym stuff and headed to Smartfit.  I completed all my exercises in about an hour and a half.  It’s been about 6 months since I first had problems with my left hamstrings.  I had been lifting 80# but I stopped for about a month then started over again with 60#.  This week I upped it to 65# and I think I can soon up it to 70#.  I brought my cellphone with me today and it appears they have a strong wifi signal but still no internet connection.  I ran into Dr. Ruis and he nicely said he would help me in any way he can.

When Teresa came back about noon she immediately realized she didn’t have her water bottle with her.  She believes she left it in Carbon de Leña.  She tried calling them but there was no answer.  We ordered her a new, and perhaps better, one from Amazon for $32.90.

Among new US movie releases there isn’t anything I would like to see.  But… I’m not into super hero movies but I might see Avengers: Endgame mainly because of all the hype and their rating (9.2).  I’m sure it will be around for a few weeks so I’ll probably wait for a week when there isn’t anything else to see.

Locally, I will probably see The Aftermath (6.3) and Eye on Juliet (6.6) this week.

I left the apt at 2:15 and walked to the mall.  The cashier at Cine Colombia spoke a little English and was excited to practice.  I added 40mil to my account and bought a preferred seat for 12,500 pesos.

I went to Auros by Exito and had a page of my chess openings printed out. On my way out I picked up a free Gente newspaper at the Exito information desk.

Back inside CC in the Platinum area I talked briefly with Natalia.  I bought a small Coke and had my little bucket filled with salted popcorn.

I thought I had bought a general seat and there were no other seats sold so I took my seat in the middle of the last row. 

The movie – Eye on Juliet – was good, better than I thought it would be.  It turned out there were 6 others in the theater with me.

I stopped at Exito for milk on the way back to the apt and just got back before rainfall started.  It continued for most of the evening.

In the evening I watched the 2^nd & 3^rd round of the NFL draft.

Tomorrow the plan is to go in the morning to Mayorista for meat and vegetables.

10,166 steps today.

Joke of the day

“So, this guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, “You know, all lawyers are assholes.”  And a guy at the end of the bar says, “Hey, I heard that.  I resent that.”  And the first guy says, “Why?  Are you a lawyer?”  And the other guy says, “No, I’m an asshole.”

Thursday, April 25, 2019

Last night I fell asleep quickly but I woke up at 2am, 4am, and 6am.  I couldn’t fall back asleep after that so I got up at 7am.

Teresa left at 7:45 for an 8am exercise class with Jose.

I watched the first 20 minutes of the Today show and then left the apt.

I took a bus to Envios Market where I picked up my May Reader’s Digest, a 2019 Zurich pension fund package, 2 envelopes of junk mail and an envelope with 2 Capital One credit cards.  The latter was a little surprising; I guess my bankruptcy forgiveness has begun – it has been over 6 years.  I cut up the cards and threw them away.

I walked to Clinica de Medellin where I withdrew a lot of 20 mil bills.

I walked to Starbucks where I had my usual coffee.

I took a bus back to the apt and for some reason traffic today was horrible – maybe because of the light rain.

Teresa gave me my cholesterol test results that she picked up after her gym class.  My HDL and triglycerides were almost identical to last year but my total cholesterol dropped from 186 to 138 probably because my LDL dropped from 114 to 65.

After lunch I walked to the mall and sat down at a table in the Cine Colombia Platinum area.  Natalie soon came over and we chatted a bit.  She is a manager and she mentioned that she doesn’t like her long sleeved uniform because it’s hot.  I solved the remaining 22 puzzles of my 222 set while eating some peanuts and drinking a small Pepsi.  So I completed all 222 puzzles in 6 hours and 18 minutes (over 7 days) and got 95% correct.

After I left I stopped at Arios and had a copy made, bought a package of eggs in Exito and bought a package of Metacarbamol in the pharmacy.

Back at the apt I was surprised to see the bird feeder I had filled this morning was nearly empty.

At 6:30 Teresa ordered chicken wings from Go Wings.  

Surprisingly, our order arrived in only 20 minutes and it was delivered by a girl.

At 7pm I started watching the first round of the NFL draft but I stopped at 9:30 in order to do an hour of reading before bedtime.

I finally heard back from Dr. Ruiz (315 414-1977) that I met at the gym 2 weeks ago.  He apologized for his tardiness in answering my Whatsapp message.  Unfortunately, he specializes in ozone therapy and I didn’t get good vibes from what I read on the internet so I declined but I did ask him if he could refer an English speaking chiropractor.

8,626 steps today.

Joke of the day

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.  She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.  I really need you to pay me a compliment.”

I replied, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”

I’m still recovering from that one.

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

I slept through the night waking at 5:15 and getting up at 6:15.

Since we were out of eggs Teresa suggested we go to Aymará for breakfast.

We left the apt at 7:30 and walked up to Aymará where we had a nice breakfast of eggs, croissants, and coffee for 22,500 pesos ($7.50).

Teresa went to get her hair done and I stopped at Eduardo Madrid Bakery where I bought a bagel to go (they didn’t have any English muffins).

I watched the first 20 minutes of the Today show and left for the gym.  I added 5# to 7 of my exercises and increased my treadmill speed and time from 5.6 to 5.7 and 6 minutes to 7 minutes, respectively.  I noticed they installed a clock on the 3^rd floor and the water fountain on the 1^st floor has a separate faucet for filling water bottles.  I saw Marcos come in and work out on the treadmill then I saw him sitting at the shoulder press machine and the next thing I knew he was standing outside.  I guess he just works on his cardio; maybe it’s a Wednesday routine.  I asked Juan Carlos if the internet was working and he checked and said it was.  We’ll see when I bring my cellphone on Friday.  Wow, I was back at the apt by 11am.  I attribute that to doing fewer exercises, doing them faster, having no cellphone (lol) and my proximity to the gym.

Teresa came back at 11:45.

Because of all the running around (Teresa was spending a lot of time on the phone), she cancelled her 2pm dentist appointment.

She gave me the good news that tonight’s 7pm meeting has been cancelled because the guy in the apt can’t afford to pay the 20,000,000 pesos or so in back fees.

We walked up to the restaurant where we had the menu of the day.

Back at the apt I took a short nap from 2:30 to 3pm.

We had a little rain in the afternoon.

We left the apt at 3:30 and arrived 10 minutes late for her doctor’s appointment.

They were behind also and the receptionist told us to go get coffee and she would call us when Dr. Ossa is available.

We went down to O-Cake where we had a drink and shared a meat pastry.

There was another rainstorm in progress and the temperature dropped.

I checked inside Carulla where I found the brand of eggs that Teresa likes although it was a pretty large package of 32.  We decided we would pick them up later.

The receptionist finally called at 5pm.  We went up to the doctor’s office and were allowed in at 5:20.

The oncologist gave her an exam and checked the results of her liver test and said everything looks good.  (They found a tumor in her liver but the doctor said it is of no concern because it’s benign.)  He wants her to take 500mg of calcium every day and he’ll see here in 6 months when she’ll get a mammogram of the non-surgical breast and some type of bone scan.

Teresa returned some clothes to Zara and window shopped a little.

We had a bite to eat in Crepes & Waffles for 45,100 pesos.

We waited in line for 40 minutes to catch a taxi and it was another 30 minutes back to the apt.

I finished reading John Grisham’s The Testament on my Nook e-reader.

9,726 steps today.

Joke of the day

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, “What’s on TV?”

I said, “Dust”.

She didn’t appreciate that.

Tuesday, April 23, 2019

I got up twice during the night, finally waking/getting up at 6:30.

We left the apt at 7am and quickly caught a taxi to nueva eps.

After checking in and paying 3,200 pesos they took my blood sample to test for cholesterol.

We walked to Carbon de Leña where we had breakfast.  We talked about the injections for my back and I understood they were merely to be temporary relief.  I told her I am not looking for that – I am looking for a cure so no more injections unless it gets really bad.

She went to mass and I walked down to the mall where I bought a café con leche at Habia Una Vez and solved about 10 chess puzzles.

Jose soon showed up and he had a tinto.  He said he had no trouble catching a taxi and traffic was very light.  I recalled seeing taxis, motos, and trucks but no passenger cars.

We took an elevator upstairs to the food court where we played 4 games over the next 7 hours (briefly stopping for lunch).  I couldn’t believe it as he won all 4 games.  During one of the games we heard heavy rain hitting the roof.

Downstairs he quickly caught a taxi back home and I walked back to the apt in heavy thunder but I managed to beat the rain.

Teresa spent the afternoon exchanging clothes at Santafe mall and chatting with her mother.

She returned about 7pm.

Teresa tells me that she has a business appointment at 7pm tomorrow night about the apt in La Estrella.  In preparation for that she’s going to skip gym tomorrow morning in order to get her hair done.

Today I solved another 37 of 40 puzzles in 70 minutes.

6,174 steps today.

Joke of the day

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn’t run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed.  But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first: the shed, the boat, brewing beer, watching TV.

Always something more important to me!  Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.  When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.  I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.  I said, “When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.”

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

Monday, April 22, 2019

Today is Earth Day.  But tomorrow, driving will be restricted in the Aburra Valley.  Go figure!

I got up twice during the night getting up for good at 5:30.  Teresa and I left the apt at 6am.  At the end of the block we caught a taxi to Nueva eps.  We only had to wait about 5 minutes for my turn to see a doctor.  Her name was Clara and she spoke pretty good English.  (She said I could ask for her in my future visits.)  She: 1) said my PSA of 3.26 is good, 2) gave us a permission slip to come back at 7:27 tomorrow so I could get a blood draw to check my cholesterol, 3) checked my weight and said it was good for my height, 4) listened to my chest with her stethoscope and said everything sounds good, 5)  gave Teresa a prescription for a couple more shots for my back pain.

When we left Teresa went next door for her exercise class.  I walked a block to Carbon de Leña but at 6:45 I wasn’t surprised it wasn’t open yet.  I caught a bus back to the apt.  I stopped in Exito and picked up a banana and 2 bags of milk.  I had a bowl of granola with the banana.

I left the apt at 7:45 for the gym.  There was a light rain so I was glad to have my umbrella with me.  I completed all my exercises but I don’t know how long it took because I didn’t have my cellphone with me and I didn’t see a clock in the building.  I noticed they now have a water fountain installed on the 1^st floor.

Back at the apt I watched about 30 minutes of the Today show.

I took a nap from 10:30 to 11:30 when Teresa came back from the gym.  She mentioned that everyone is admiring her new glass water bottle.

I completed entering and analyzing last week’s games vs Jose.  I also completed the latest group of 40 chess puzzles only getting 7 of 9 correct.

Breaking news:  Twenty five years ago when Teresa divorced her first husband she ended up with an apt in La Estrella.  She then sold it and moved to San Andres.  Now, 25 years later, it turns out the apt owner hasn’t paid the “administration fees” (like homeowners association fees?) in all that time.  Now, I understand a future date will be set and if the guy doesn’t pay the 25 years in back payments the police will kick him out of the apt and it will revert back to Teresa.  To be continued!

I watched Chapter 13 – Defensive play – building a sense of danger.

I finally heard from Jose.  We plan to meet me at 10am at the mall but he’ll call me if Earth Day gives him any problems catching a taxi.

I solved 39 of the next 40 chess puzzles in 70 minutes.

6,517 steps today.

Joke of the day

My wife and I were watching Who Wants to be a Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her in bed and said, “Do you want to have sex?”

“No”, she answered.

I then said, “Is that your final answer?”

She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, “Yes”.

So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”

And that’s when the fight started.

Colomba - Medellin Living

I Was So Blown Away By This South American Country, I Actually Moved There

 

By NAOMI DALTONPublished On 04/22/2019

El Peñol of Guatape in Colombia. |andresr/E+/Shutterstock

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My perception of Colombia hadn’t been great prior to my first trip there back in 2011. I’d heard horror stories about drugs cartels, kidnappings, and civil war. It wasn’t somewhere I had contemplated visiting until I made some great Colombian friends at work in London. When my friend Johanna finished her studies, she insisted that I come visit her in Colombia. So I booked my ticket and a few months later I was off.

On that first trip, I visited Bogotá and the Caribbean coast, and with good friends by my side, I knew I had nothing to worry about. Touching down in Bogotá, I marveled at the contrast between the sprawling concrete metropolis and the majestic dark green mountains surrounding it. The views from the mountains must be awesome, I thought. I wasn’t wrong. Bogotá, a city built “2,600 meters closer to the stars,” according to a promotional campaign, has the most spectacular urban sunsets I’ve ever seen, and there’s no better place to see them than from the top of Mount Monserrate.

Johanna’s family descends from the indigenous Wayuu tribe, so she wanted to take me to their native land in the northeastern department of La Guajira. Cabo de la Vela is undeveloped, isolated and has a dramatic landscape of sea, desert, shrubs and cactuses stretching as far as the eye can see. It is one of the most special places I’ve ever visited. After a knuckle-whitening jeep ride through the desert with jubilant vallenato music blasting from the stereo, we arrived in the sacred land of the Wayuu. Cabo de la Vela, Johanna told me, is the Wayuu people’s “gateway to the afterlife.” I’m not religious, but it felt like Heaven to me.

Eventually, love and friendship drew me back to Colombia again and again until I finally moved there in 2013. Now that I’ve traveled more extensively throughout the country, I realize they weren’t exaggerating when another campaign claimed “Colombia is magical realism.” Here are some of the magical places you absolutely must try to visit on a trip to Colombia.

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View from Monserrat over Bogota. | A. Blanke/shutterstock

Mount Monserrate at sunset, Bogotá

From above, Bogotá is not the definition of a beautiful city. Unregulated urban growth and high levels of pollution make for a lot of grey and and often hazy views across the city. However, when it comes to having its picture taken -- as with people -- Bogotá has a “good side” and a “bad side.” The secret to capturing its good side is to snap it from the top of Mount Monserrate at sunset through nightfall. As yellows and oranges turn to purples and indigos, punctuated by charcoal smudges of cloud, you’ll capture one of the most beautiful sunset cityscapes you’ve ever seen.

Amethyst-throated Sunangel in La Calera, Cundinamarca. | VW Pics/Universal Images Group/Getty Images

Hummingbird Observatory, Cundinamarca

Colombia is the second most biodiverse country in the world after Brazil, with over 1,900 bird species. At the Hummingbird Observatory, about an hour’s drive from Bogotá, 18 different species of hummingbird have been recorded. We saw twelve of these species while I was there. The observatory is, in fact, a local woman’s back garden. When she moved to the area and started to spot these enigmatic birds, she began planting flowers and hanging feeders to attract more. Getting up close to these birds with magical names such as the Amethyst-throated Sunangel and the Great Sapphirewing was such an incredible experience. If you’re interested in wildlife photography or just love hummingbirds, you must visit the Hummingbird Observatory while you’re in Bogotá. Get there by taking a bus to La Calera and then a taxi, hire a private car or book a tour.

Chingaza National Park, Cundinamarca. | Javier Crespo/shutterstock

Chingaza National Park, Cundinamarca

If you want a challenging but rewarding hike (and can handle the altitude, which is more than 10,000ft at the lowest point), I highly recommend Chingaza National Park. The rare páramoecosystem of the park only exists in five countries in the world -- defined as existing between the upper treeline and before the snow border, 3200 to 5000 metres above sea level -- and its high altitude and intermittent cloud cover can make the landscape seem pretty surreal. Plants, animals and humans alike need to be made of tough stuff to survive in this harsh environment. On my trip to Chingaza, we chose one of the tougher hiking routes, which made me doubt my level of fitness at times. However, in spite of the dense, sticky mud and thin air, it was all worth it when we reached the summit. The panoramic views over the lagoon in the middle of this otherworldly landscape, scattered with spikey, odd-looking frailejon plants, was like nothing I’d seen before.

Cartagena Cathedral, Colombia | Jesse Kraft/EyeEm/Getty Images

Cartagena, Colombia

I’ve visited the Caribbean city of Cartagena several times, and it never gets boring. This UNESCO World Heritage Site greets visitors with a spectrum of bright colors, with bougainvillea hanging from the balconies of pastel-colored colonial buildings. When I’m in Cartagena, I love to stroll through the streets, explore the markets and boutiques, and drool over the gorgeous handmade Wayuu mochila bags being sold on the sidewalk. The street-sellers are expecting a negotiation, so remember to bargain! My favorite way to end the day is with a cold drink at Café del Mar on top of the city wall. There’s no beating those picture-perfect sunset views.

El Cabo San Juan del Guia beach, Tayrona National Park, Santa Marta | Karol Kozlowski/robertharding/Getty images

Tayrona National Park, Santa Marta

Tayrona National Park is a stunner on Colombia’s Caribbean coast, deserving a place high spot on any bucket list. Miles and miles of powdery sand fringed by lush jungle, palm trees, and giant boulders await. Swimming is only allowed on certain beaches, including Cabo San Juan, Tayrona’s busiest beach. The sea here is generally calm, and there are good food and drink options, too. La Piscina beach is the best for snorkeling, but if like me you don’t want to be fighting for towel space, walk along to Castilletes beach. You may just have the beach to yourself -- the only downside is, you won’t be able to swim. As well as the jaw-dropping beaches, there are excellent opportunities for jungle hiking and wildlife watching (iguanas, monkeys and very shy jaguars), with several well-marked hiking trails.

Cabo de la Vela, La Guajira. | Jess Kraft/shutterstock

Cabo de la Vela, La Guajira

Cabo de la Vela is the sacred land of Colombia’s indigenous Wayuu tribe, and has a totally chill atmosphere. It’s pretty hard to get to, so you’ll want to spend at least a night there, either in a hammock or a very basic beach hut. Climb the majestic “Pilon de Azucar” hill for sweeping views across the landscape before spending a day on the stunning beach at Playa del Pilon. The windy conditions in Cabo de la Vela takes the edge off the dry heat, also making it the best place in the world for kite-surfing. Sign up for a taster session or an entire course -- there are several schools to choose from.

Bridge of love, Crab Cay, Providencia. | Harri Jarvelainen Photography/Moment Open/Getty Images

Crab Cay, Providencia

The gorgeous Caribbean island of Providencia is a 20-minute small plane ride away from its more famous neighbor, San Andres Island. With a population of just 5,000 people, Providencia has a chilled out and authentic vibe. You can hire a moped and do a full circuit of the island in half an hour, before taking a motorboat or kayak across the water to Crab Cay. There isn’t much to do there except swim in the crystalline waters around the dock before climbing up to the highest point on the island to admire the views. You’ll soon find out why they call this part of the Caribbean “the sea of seven colors.”

Cocora Valley, Quindio. | Exequiel Schvartz/shutterstock

Cocora Valley, Quindio

Ever wondered where the phrase “walking among giants” originated? I believe it came from Colombia’s Cocora Valley. If there’s an image I won’t forget in a hurry, it’s that of hundreds of giant wax palm trees dotted across the fields and ravines of the Cocora Valley. The valley is a half-hour jeep ride from the pretty town of Salento and then another half-hour hike from the entrance down to the main valley. If you’re feeling adventurous, I recommend leaving early for a challenging but rewarding six-hour hike of the valley.

Guatapé, Antioquia. | Diego Robayo/EyeEm/Getty Images

Guatapé, Antioquia

The picturesque colonial town of Guatapé is just a two-hour bus-ride away from Medellin’s north bus terminal. Get off just before the town at “La Piedra del Peñol,” a huge monolith rising more than 700ft from the ground. Those who climb the 740 steps to the top will be rewarded with spectacular 360-degree views of the beautiful lake filled with tiny islands. If you have time, hire a kayak and explore the lake and its islands. Otherwise, take a passing bus into town, where you’ll be greeted with bright blocks of color and red-tiled rooftops -- and so many photo opportunities. The village is decorated with dozens of pretty murals and symbols reflecting the local occupations, wildlife and countryside. Be sure to get a photo on the multi-colored steps of the “Plazoleta de los Zócalos.”

Capybaras in Colombia. | Jesse Kraft/EyeEm/Getty Images

Los Llanos Orientales, Casanare

The vast tropical wetlands and plains of Casanare in eastern Colombia are the ideal place for a wildlife safari. As tourism is still a relatively new concept here, the local wildlife is pretty chilled around humans and therefore easy to spot. Expect to see exotic animals such as the capybara (the largest rodent in the world), howler monkeys, giant anteaters, caiman, and even anacondas. There are fabulous opportunities for hiking through the flooded forests (don’t forget your boots!), canoeing in the lagoons, jeep safaris and horseback riding across the grasslands. As if you needed one more reason to visit: Los Llanos have some of the most dramatic sunrises and sunsets in Colombia.

Cano Cristales (River of five colors), La Macarena | sunsinger/shutterstock

Caño Cristales, Meta

This “river of five colors” in the Serranía de La Macarena National Park is like something out of Colombian Gabriel García Márquez’s novels. The aquatic plants that grow in the river give it a vibrant red color from June to November and the colors are brightest in August and September. You can swim in the river, but you won’t be allowed to use sunblock or bug spray, so be sure to cover up. The area is pretty remote and nearly impossible to access by land so your best option is to book through a tour company.

'Las Lajas' near the city of Ipiales. | Antonio Salinas L./moment/getty images

Las Lajas church, Pasto

If you’re backpacking through Colombia and heading for Ecuador, a stop at Las Lajas churchis a must. Las Lajas is famous for its size, its unusual neo-gothic architecture and its setting across a canyon. The church was built to commemorate a sighting of the Virgin Mary on the rock face during a storm in the 18th century. What makes it so unique is that it has been built into the side of the ravine -- the back wall of the church is actually the rock face itself. For the best views and photo opportunities, take a ride in one of the cable cars.

Huina Beach, Bahia Solano | EyesWideOpen/Getty Images News

Whale-watching on the Pacific Coast

If you’re looking to get far from civilization, this is the place to be. From July through early October, humpback whales congregate in the waters off Colombia’s Pacific coast to breed, with the best whale-watching opportunities to be found around Nuqui, Bahia Solano, and Bahia Malaga. Accommodation in these areas is normally comfortable but basic. Expect open-air dorms and showers, no hot water and only sporadic Wi-Fi access, if any. There are some good eco-hostels overlooking the beautiful El Almejal beach near Bahia Solano, and they can also help you book a whale-watching tour.