A *Rant* about the Colombian Way

So, I wrote to the Consulado en Miami and received an email with a list of the exact documents I needed to bring to apply for my "spouse visa" - my wife and I are moving to her home in San Andres Isla in November; since I retired in May and returned my leased Sentra - and my wife needed her car for work - I took the Tri-Rail and Metrorail from Delray Beach to Miami, to the Consulado - two hours - and proudly presented myself to Orlando, who looked at my copy of the (unsigned) email response I received from the Consulado..."
Who told you this?!", he said..."This isn't correct, and neither is that..." (1) The email instructed me to get a copy of the U.S. marriage certificate, have it translated ($$), and have it notarized...
Orlando said it didn't have to be translated or notarized, that it would be certified there in the Consulado when we bring it in. (Turns out, that wasn't even correct, as they send you upstairs to a private provider to notarize/"certify" the certificate - for $35 dollars, rather than "free," if we had just taken it to our bank. We found out later that another notary, on the First Floor, would do it for $12, but the Consulado directed us to their more costly... "friend" ...upstairs.) (2) The email also instructed me to bring two passport photos (more $$), which also turned out to be totally incorrect...the Consulado takes your photo when they accept the application. (3) Orlando also took my list of things, looked it over, and said "OK, this is all you need." 
However...rather importantly...he failed to specify that - in addition to my wife's Cedula (national ID) - for some...uh-oh..."Colombian" reason, they ALSO needed her Birth Certificate...we found THAT out only after my wife took a day off work, and we RETURNED to the Consulate, thinking our documents were complete, only to be told that the Birth Certificate was needed in addition to the Cedula (!!!). (Remember, "returned" is a weighted concept, as we live about 1 1/2 hours from the Consulado.) So we completed the process, returned home, and received an email the next day advising the Visa was ready for pick-up...after email "reconnaissance" and three trips to the Consulate... So, that's the visa experience...what follows is more "Colombian Way" examples... As for the shipping of our car and household goods, the information from the customs' agent in San Andres continues to amaze us; after buying a 2008 Mitsubishi Outlander to take to the island, the agent says "Oh, they count 2013 when they say your car can only be 5 years old," which meant the Outlander was 6 years old [counting backwards from 2013!] - again, the Colombian Way; so, we had to take a loss on the car which we had just bought, and trade it in for a more recent year. Now, we get an email from her informing us that Colombia needs not only the VIN number from the car, but also the ENGINE number...I know, I know, don't even ask "why?" and especially don't fall back into that "WTF...why do they need that, if they have the VIN number?!" (Do YOU know where to find the engine number on a Toyota Corolla? Well, neither do it and, apparently, no one on the Internet knows, either...but I'll call the dealer for advice.) So, that is my little experience with "the Colombian way," as previously mentioned by Forum member "Razial" in an earlier post. I just needed to "vent" a little, and apologize for annoying anyone :-)