Culture Shock

Okay so we are here in Colombia living the good life; however, there is some behavior that makes me so angry. My question is why do Colombians insist in just entering a conversation, cutting in line at the banks or stores or just asking for help while you are speaking with someone as if you are invisible. I've made it a point to act rudely to address this type of behavior and ask that person man or woman to freaking wait their turn. I do not know if this is a Colombian trait or just ignorant people who really don't know any better. Just like to hear some input on this matter and what you have done to deal with this type of behavior.

Soystar1; Colombia Expat Exchange; 3/18/14

Welcome to Colombia. It is very much a normal pattern. Tranquilo. I have found the workers in Colombia are able to multi-task like no one's business. Yes, they may answer someone else's question before yours, but they get back to task without skipping a beat or wondering where they were in your transaction. If you are fluent in Spanish, feel free to do the same thing when you feel comfortable. No one will call you out on it. It is an adjustment, just be patient. It's not going to change. I usually just waited and listened since I was learning the language anyway. Wherever you go, remember tranquilo. It is the Colombian way!

Stargazer2893

You are not in the UK or the USA. The phenomenon is the same in Ecuador, Peru and I suspect most other countries in this continent. And it was equally a complaint in Italy and France - countries I know. The last decade the situation has improved in Italy by measures of government offices, shops etc by installing ticketed turns. French travelers arriving in the US were for a time infamous for being unable to properly keep to immigration lines. So the problem is not Latin-American, but one of culture and the need for programs of proper socialization - don't expect a change in your lifetime; and it is not worth risking a confrontation over this. Remember it is still their home.

Afiore1961

I do not live there, but have spent 2 months in Bogota and the environs living as normal Colombians do as far as going to banks, supermercados, Exitos, etc. and I have never ever seen line-jumping like I have, seldom, but happens, in the states. Middle-class to lower strata types always seem to be comfortable en las "colas" or "filas, the lines, and patiently wait their turn. Never once have I seen bad behavior. No tempers like u often see in Walmarts or ticket lines here. Whatever, if u live in Latinamerica, you have to go with the flow or go crazy.

Patricio

I call them out on it, but usually just get the same old answer ........ "I am the next door neighbour of the daughter of the guy I just jumped the queue to join", or something equally as ridiculous, but I keep on making my feelings known. One of the worst, is when you are trying to get off the Transmilenio, carrying 6 bags of shopping, and herding your 2 kids safely off as well. Everyone just piles in, not allowing anyone to get off first. So I bellow out in my loudest (and English) voice, "Oi !!, you fu**ing ignorant bas**rds - wait!!!". Then I do a rugby charge, sending them all flying backwards, but enabling me to get off safely with the kids and shopping intact. I always win, as I am twice the size of any Colombian, a point which I am sure they all are extremely jealous of. They all look at me as if I was mad, but it makes me feel better. :) I know I will never change the culture, but as I say, it makes you feel as though you've made your point.

ElinglesLoco

I think part of the culture seems to believe that if they do not just cut in line or interrupt the sales lady as if the world will end for them. I have only seen one sales lady actually say: wait your turn. I can let it go but when happens every time I go shopping I get the same tune going hey, I'm talking here. They usually look at me strange as if I have the issue with no introspection of what they are doing. Sadly, sometimes, you have to resort to their methods and just keep on talking and cut them off in line. No matter what, I think it's so disrespectful of anyone or any culture to just act as if their issue is paramount and not yours. Push comes to shove. I think you're right you have to take matters into you own hands.

Soystar1

If you have kids, take a taxi. I only rode transmilenio twice in my 19 months there. No, they won't wait for you to get off the train, so don't take it during the busy hours or take a taxi if your kids are with you. I always walked to the grocery store as it was close enough. I did not own a car. They're not really jealous of your size, they just think you are a typical foreigner. That's just honest. Really. You will need to relax and go with the flow. Learn what fits your lifestyle and avoid certain situations whenever possible. Colombians are the nicest, most generous people I've met. They are also the most laid-back, which could explain why their country is always ranked as one of the happiest! One of my US friends has accused me of becoming "Colombianized" in my laid-back thinking. I consider that a compliment, based on the harried US way I was when I arrived in Bogota. I can't wait to move back, even if I am bumped in the line from time to time, because I will be close to the panaderias, Andino, the mountains, the cedula office (not!), and all those marvelous fruits and juices I can't get here. And I've only been back in the states for three weeks.... :D

Stargazer2893

My experience has been that of Stargazers, not only in Colombia but in virtually any Latin countries I have visited or spent time in. Latins are the most courteous and used to being in crowds and waiting.

Patricio

I have witnessed the same type of rude behavior just about everywhere I've traveled. The costeños are especially noted for their ability to "own" the sidewalk, drive through red lights at crosswalks, etc. Abusive behavior is everywhere. Fortunately, it's a minority but an irritating one.

JohnnyD

I AM TRYING to be patient with the queues! I was half-an-hour queueing in my bank last year, and a woman came in the street and just went to the front. I was next, so I told the bank teller "disculpeme, esa mujer ya vino de la calle. No se puede attenderla, porque es mi tourno!" She served me. THEY DON'T LIKE to queue that is the answer, but they have to respect the "turn machines" but try and get round the receptionist in the clinic and say they are in a hurry, and she calls their number out first!! You can't copy them, like was suggested, they don't like foreigners jumping the queue!

Mawdjeff

Here in Armenia you hear locals always shouting yo tengo la via or I have the right of way. This is translated that if you are in the traffic circle first and speeding the other driver is in the wrong. Dangerous place to be. I think that if we relax too much you be taken advantage of all of the time. True, we are in Colombia but sometimes, you just have to say wait your turn buddy. Sometimes, I cut in front of them when they do this to me and it makes a comical episode that should be aired on tv. Let me just say that this occurs on a monthly basis to pay the gas and electric bill at the bank of bogota or EQM. I think if we know what occurs any old or new timers here Colombia will be pre warned and will just shrug it off from time to time.

Soystar1

I avoid banks and lines as much as possible because I know how it will go you have to want the experience and people watch or check out apps on you phone jejejeje. I pay all my bills claro cell phone, gas, electric, water and rent online. They send the bill to me by email and a paper copy and I just use my Colombian Bank account to pay all the bills and I have the confirmation code and proof my bills are paid. I do not auto pay my bills only rent sometime it is better to negotiate with an incorrect bill if you have not paid it TIP I even pay rent by automatic transfer the 1st of the month this makes my landlords really happy and I don't worry if I paid or not on the 1st or 5th I just set it up for the year and that’s it. Dicen que soy buena oaga ni importa si estoy por alli o no y asi les dan ganas a cuidarme la casa cuando no estoy en Colombia I even pay by automatic payment for my Car Payment the same every month with chevy Plan. There are many ways to take are of your affairs without standing in line with everything almost healthcare may be an exception I don’t use it now

Psorensen

Soystar i have been living here full time for 2 1/2 years and I've never encountered this problem. I think you are the only one with this problem.

I believe that Colombians are warm and generous people but that simply are not conscious of people around them. You see this while driving, walking along the sidewalk (sometimes they simply walk and stand in the street) or as they simply stop in the middle of an aisle or my favorite at the end of the escalator so you have to back up or slam into them while others slam into you. Maybe outside of the "civilized" world they do not have the same values in courtesy because polite people are more likely to starve. Maybe... I let people have it from time to time as I lose it with some a$$ holes. For instance while trying to get into an elevator, after waiting 2+ minutes for 1 that has enough room because I am pushing my son in the stroller, some jack a$$ walks past me and takes up the space. I kindly say "Perezoso hijo de un buta eres tus piernas rotas?" I usually get a shocked look as the doors close while others in the elevator snicker and laugh. Sadly this happens often. 1 time before I could get out of the elevator people pushed their way in and as I started to walk out they reached in front of me to push the button for the bottom floor. I quickly followed by pressing the hold doors open button and asked permission to get off the elevator. The one guy laughed and said "of course" so a ran my hand down the buttons hitting each one of the 10 floors between this and the one they were going to, stepped off and wished them a pleasant evening. Don't get me started with the damn motorcycles. I actually purchased a camera for my car because it is only a matter of time until 1 or 50 of them wind up under my car. My car has been hit by 3 motorcycles while they pass between my car and another and they look at me like I am at fault as they speed off. I am sure they complain about how foreigners wait in line and drive properly. We must annoy them just as much as we annoy them.

Masterita

Well, I was relieved to read this thread (except for being incredulous at masterita’s comment), and realizing that I “am not alone” - my experience is that of most on the forum, except mine are *ramped up* somewhat, as I live in San Andres, which has its own problems. I have come to believe that Colombians have a fundamental lack of respect for general social order and authority, perhaps fueled by unconscious defiance based on a history of authoritarian rule, coupled with pervasive corruption at every level of their society (which as we all know, persists and seems to be accepted.) A refusal to tolerate *esperando su turno* e.g. line-jumping, etc., motos surging from the left, right and center, folks pushing their way through shop doors as I open to enter or exit – ignoring me without comment when I step back, hold the door for them, and permit them to enter, bumping shoulders in the street or store without any acknowledgement, let alone “perdon;” the constant interruptions of on-going conversations, taking a big bite of food, then proceeding to expound on a given substance; …presently visiting family in Bogota, I read the front-page article in El Tiempo reporting on the “suicidas” – the thousands of people *daily* who break the automatic doors of their much-touted TransMilenio, and crowd on the buses without paying the 1400 pesos; TransMilenio says the damage they cause costs about 20 million DOLLARS per year – sufficient to build 8 huge schools annually…all these things do make daily life less pleasant than it could be and, yes, it does feel very “uncivilized.” I know, I know - that’s my opinion; I “should” be more laid-back, I “should” be more tolerant and go with the flow, and I am contemplating those facts, and working to become more……whatever I need to become to be more comfortable here. As for the warmth and friendliness so many report about Colombian people, I have not generally experienced that yet – except for family – in my 10 years of visiting – and now living - in Colombia. Granted, most of my experiences have been in Bogota, the surrounding savanna, and San Andres…my family doesn’t feel it’s safe to visit many places as I am very fair-skinned, and blue-eyed…on the island, the reported rudeness is exacerbated – I believe – largely due to the uneducated, unskilled, poor costenos who continue to pour into the island (a fact that is bemoaned by officials there: “Why are all these people coming here?...[to this dirty, dysfunctional, over-crowded, broken-down island]) I’m sure there are thousands if not millions of coastal residents that are not like this, but the ones I see are aggressive, rude, and even threatening (a friend on the island says “they all drive like drunken monkeys on crack,” and – if you saw them – you would have to agree.) And, unfortunately, on the island there is also what sociologists call counter-racism…an undercurrent of hostility towards “pahnyas” – fairer-skinned Colombians – and white folks in general – from the predominantly black “islanders” – those born on the island. But that’s another whole thread, possibly even a book, (and certainly a PhD dissertation for some enterprising, young intellectual.) Thanks to you all for reading this far, and tolerating my caffeine-fueled morning rant…

Waltercito

Hey, I am sure that even in paradise their must be a few occasional niggles. Yeah, there are things that I don't like, but it doesn't stop me from loving the place, and I am sure, will always love it. Even though 99% is perfect for me, hell yeah, I still get irritated when a taxi driver nearly kills me, as I cycle perfectly properly, and he wants to turn right, so turns right, and knocks me off my bike as though I shouldn't be on the road. Or the middle aged woman boarding the TM, stepping on anyone and everyone in the process, even young mothers with babes in arms. I call that downright disgusting. But we can still love the country, the city, the people, and the life we have chosen. C'mon now, I am sure there are some things you hate too?

ElinglesLoco

Honestly, if I had read the experiences and feelings of respected posters on this forum, I would never have chosen to visit Colombia, much less plan for it to be my permanent home from Florida in the very near future. That being said, those experiences I have seen on here are totally foreign to what I have noticed personally. And I am a totally in-the-street, con la gente kind of guy who drives in Bogota and was married to a Chilean for 18 years and is totally at ease with the Latin thing. I don't get it.

Patricio

For those of us that have had some problems with being able to go with the flow down here, I hear aguardiente can help you "adjust" your perception. The more you drink the easier it is to go with the Colombian flow! Oh, has anyone noticed that car seats for children have yet to catch on down here? I lost count of how many times I have seen a 3 year old bouncing up and down in the car in front or along side of me, while the parent speeds through traffic. I've seen mothers sticking their babies face out the window (sitting in the back seat not wearing a seatbelt herself) of the car while the father drives down the road. Living down here is a double edge sword. It cuts both ways. You could live a good life for little money (comparably speaking) but you have to put up with the BS of the culture. However we shouldn't forget where we came from... After living here for a year or two, talk to your friends back at home to be reminded about what you are missing... failing health care, racial issues, lack of work / money, corruption in high corporation and politics, etc. We get used to the smells from our own landfills that we have to distance ourselves to pick up the odors again. The small amount of BS I need to put up with down here fails to compare with what I would have to put up with back "home". (At least for now).

Masterita

Masterita, good points. As a retired Child Abuse Investigator - from a "civilized" country - I have an extremely difficult time watching scooters pass me with a three year old sitting on the gas tank, the father driving, and the mother sitting behind, holding a newborn...daily, I see scooter drivers manipulating the gas with their right hand, while holding a newborn on their left shoulder... And I haven't forgotten why I left the United States of Capitalism...I'm here for the long haul.

Waltercito

Have to remember this is third world. Last time I was in Italy, Amalfi coast area, one that stuck in my mind was a young, beautiful mother driving a scooter with an infant on her arm smoking a cigarette talking on a cell. Completamente at ease. Was in Dominican Republic 4 years ago and have image of 4 maybe 5 little kids riding in the trunk of a sedan, trunk lid flapping, rolling along a dirt road about 45 mph, bouncing along, happy as could be. all good. Gotta smile and go with it, or go crazy. We ain't changing anything in Latin America as expats and can only be good gringo ambassadors, not a hell of a lot more. Only in my humble opinion, of course.  Good luck to all.

Patricio